Catfish: The Other Side of the Screen

Chapter 14

Days and weeks went by and nothing really extraordinary happened between Joe and I. He kept making comments in class which let me know he was still into me but neither one of us were actually making any efforts toward going out with each other. I personally thought that ship had sailed. Our conversations became trivial and we were drifting apart.

December came around again. I was my usual joyful self when Christmas comes around. I was ecstatic because I was making my own money which meant I could buy more presents and really, what else is Christmas about? Ha-ha.

The company we were working for always organizes these huge parties to celebrate the ending of a year as well as Christmas. They'll have good music, a lot of food, some raffles and everyone had to be there. We had to wear a dress, too. Which to be honest, I was kind of nervous about because of the way I would look so I think I ended up wearing something else. They offered everything at these parties except alcohol. And since everyone really wanted alcohol, they made a point of either getting drunk before or after the party.

So, on the day of the party, I had already made plans with a friend of mine from work whose name was Jeffrey. At the end of the day, I went up to Joe's training room. I had finished my training so I only saw him at the end of every day. Jeffrey and I went up to ask him what his plans were to go to the party.

Joe: Im already a little drunk to be honest with you. Staff members and I went to this small bar and had a couple of drinks. What are you guys doing?

Me: Jeffrey and I are going to the party. Do you want to come with? And maybe at the end, we can go somewhere else to keep drinking.

Joe: That sounds awesome. Let me just change clothes and I'll meet you guys downstairs in the parking lot.

Jeffrey: Are you serious, Amanda? You're going to go with the trainer? Do you know how that's going to look for the rest of us?

Me: There's nothing between us, Jeffrey. We're just friends.

Jeffrey: Yeah, if you say so.

Jeffrey and I went down to the car and waited for Joe. Eventually, Joe came running towards the car. I was driving, Jeffree was next to me and Joe sat behind me. I started driving. Around two blocks away from work, Joe speaks up.

Joe: Stop the car!

Me: What? Why?

Joe: Stop the god damn car. I want to get out!

Without saying a single word, I stopped the car. As if there was nothing wrong with what he was doing, he opened up the door and got out of the car.

Joe: Thanks.

He shuts the door.

Jeffrey: What the fuck did this mother fucker just do?

Me: Honestly, I don't know. This is not the first time he acts weird with me.

Jeffrey: What do you mean it's not the first time? Why do you keep letting him?

Me: It's a long story, Jeffrey.

It wasn't a long story. The deal was that I was desperate to have someone in my life so I let him do whatever he wanted to do with me. I told him how I felt about what he did or said every time he did it but nothing ever changed. I should have stopped talking to him from the day he left us at the grocery store. I really should have.

We got to the party and all I could think about was Joe. I couldn't eat or have any kind of fun at peace because Joe was running through my mind the whole night. I just wanted to go back home, get in my bed and cry myself to sleep. I couldn't believe I didn't love myself enough to put a stop to that. I was heartbroken. I felt... defeated.