13. BE MY LOVER, PLEASE 😁😁

The Past (1)

"Tell me the truth! "Arthit said. He was shaken because his memory returned.

Flashback on

That morning, after Arthit woke up, he became a different person.  Quiet and moody.  In fact he continued to stick with Rome, as if afraid of losing Rome.

They knew something was wrong with Arthit, so they didn't ask further.  Just shut up and pay attention.  All agreed not to continue the holiday, they brought Arthit home.  Because Arthit current condition is not possible, like an empty can.

Wad drove Arthit home before taking the others.  Arthit, accompanied by Rome, Kongpop and Em, returned home.

Papa was surprised to see Arthit condition, as if returning to the past.  Arthit who saw papa demanded an explanation, told the truth.  What exactly happened to him?  The memories that come only piece by piece, are incomplete.

Accompanied by Forth, they all sat in the living room.  Papa cried biting his lower lip hesitant to tell everything, papa saw Forth, and Forth nodded convincingly.

Flashback off

Papa Beam looked down silently, his eyes filled with tears, he did not want to touch the dark past.  Really do not want to.

"Papa, please ..." pleaded Arthit.  Arthit wants to know everything.  Want to know what happened in his life for 17 years.

"Uncle, please tell Arthit."  said Rome helped Arthit.  "this is all ... for Arthit sake."  Add Rome.

Kongpop and M silently looked at the situation, especially Kongpop who had to prepare mentally if all this was revealed.

"But..."

"Papa, I don't want to be lied to anymore. I want to know. I want to know why that nightmare haunts me. Please papa ..." drops of clear water fell on his cheeks.

"Alright ..." Beam said, taking a deep breath.  "Before I tell you everything, Arthit please remember, I love you so much, you are everything to me."

Arthit nodded while biting his lower lip, his heart beating fast, and his hands were trembling nervously.  His legs swayed nonstop.  Rome realized Arthit anxiety, he grabbed Arthit hand and stared at him silently.  Gradually, Arthit anxiety faded and he was ready to listen to his life dark story.

Beam POV:

I know I'm gay.  And I have a boyfriend, namely Forth.  We are dating since we were in grade II.  At first I did not like him, he was arrogant and pretentious, but somehow his charm conquered me.  Finally I received his love.

Our relationship was not as smooth as one might imagine, we often fought whether it was a small or a big problem.  But we always make up and get back together.  In my final year of college, my father learned that Forth whom I had introduced as my best friend is my boyfriend.

My father is furious!  And my mother was disappointed!  I am an only child and their dream has many grandchildren.

Dad hit me!

My mom is crying!

Initially I struggled to maintain my love ties to Forth, but the reality said otherwise.  My mother fell ill, her condition was critical.

My mother request that I marry a woman and have children.

I feel useless and guilty.

After crying for days, I finally made a decision to fulfill my mother expectations.  Married a woman!  And I have to leave Forth!

Her name is Fang, the girl I was introduced to.  We met 3 months ago getting married.  I disappeared from Forth and he also did the same thing.  Disappointed by my attitude, I know that.  We learn to love each other.

At first I thought I would be able to build a happy family, and Arthit was born.  Complete my happiness.  My family is complete, my mother and father happy.  It should be, or rather I think so.

I try to do my best.  Time goes by fast, doesn't feel Arthit already 7 years old.  But I changed, I could not help the turmoil in my heart, my interest in Fang that I initially forced faded as time went on, and our relationship became cold.  Fang hopes I turn out like I used to, I hope so too.  We decided to improve together.  This is all for the sake of our child, Arthit.

One incident changed everything, I met Forth on business matters.  The feeling, the heartbeat, the desire returned.  Even though I was holding it in but the feeling was getting bigger and bigger, making me even more sorry towards Fang.

That night there was a commemoration of the founding of the company where I worked, I met Forth again there.  Maybe because of disappointment or jealousy or hurt to see Forth surrounded by women.  I drank a lot that day, didn't realize I was drunk.

In the morning, I woke up with my head spinning and a slap landed on my cheek.  That's from Fang.  According to the story, she saw me being escorted by a man and kissed him in front of the entrance.

She is disappointed!  I know it!  I also did not expect to do like that when drunk.  Maybe because I miss Forth too much.

Since that night, our relationship has gotten colder.  Even though I apologize, it seems she is still too angry.  Even her anger had an effect on Arthit.  There is no longer the attitude of a loving mother, no more laughter with her son.  She became cold to Arthit.

One time, Forth invited to meet.  At first I was hesitant, but this matter must be clarified so that no one else was hurt.  I brought Arthit, because I don't know where is Fang, she went that day.  My mother is pass away and my father lives in a nursing home with his friends.

We met, I did not think Forth also brought a child, about the same age as Arthit.  His name is Kongpop, Forth nephew.  For some reason Forth brought his nephew to come, maybe to invite Arthit to play while we talked.  I didn't know that Fang hired a detective to watch over me.  The detective took a picture of us, and in the photo Kongpop was seen kissing Arthit, even though the truth was not like that.  Kongpop only wiped Arthit lips covered in eating ice cream, maybe their faces were too close to make Fang think like that.

That adds anger to hatred.  Sje hates me!  She also hates Arthit!  She hates everything related to me!  But I don't know, she didn't show it in front of me.  Just be normal everyday, be cold.

One time, I was sent out of town for 3 days.  And I didn't know that it was a day of disaster for Arthit.  I didn't think Fang would do something like that.

Since I left, Fang tortured Arthit, cursed him, slapped him, hit him and even stabbed him with a needle.  Finally, Arthit was locked in the bathroom and he left.  Really 😭😭 ... I never thought she would be so cruel to Arthit.  Arthit is innocent!  I'm the one guilty!  Just punish me!

I went home, the house was empty and Arthit was lying unconscious in the bathroom.  I immediately took him to the hospital, his illness was severe, he had a high fever and his body was full of wounds.  I can only scream crying to see my child helpless.  I don't know where Fang is, she disappeared!

The next day, a divorce papers came to my office.  I signed it without hesitation.  My son needs me!  And I must be strong!  I want to report this violence but all of this stems from my mistakes.  I cannot blame Fang completely.

I decided not to care about it and lived alone with Arthit.  Arthit changed, he became quiet and timid, often had nightmares and sometimes wanted to commit suicide.  The trauma was so great, the mother he loved tormented him, his father did not carry out his duties as a protector.  He was alone at that time.

I took him to a psychiatrist, trying to overcome the trauma.  At first it was hard, but we went forward step by step, and it was quite fruitful.  Arthit began to accept others, even though he was still quiet and moody.

During high school, he had a friend or who was considered as his brother.  That friend is Arthit senior, 2 years above Arthit.  He protected Arthit while he was at school, but when he graduated.  Bad things happen again, I don't know what their reasons are, they bully Arthit and

The trauma is back again!

August 10, 2019