Innocent Murderers

[10] a crack in the glass

The picture next to my bed is what enables me to cry myself to sleep. Night is the only time in which I can finally be at peace with my thoughts and cry without anyone noticing. The regret that bubbles up inside me when I see my parent's happy faces, my mum's wild brown hair and green eyes; my dad's greying blonde curls. Neither of them look anything like me, but I'm still their daughter.

I'm still the daughter that ran away, leaving them behind to burn hating their daughter, not knowing how sorry she was for what she did.
But I still did it, and if I hadn't have left they wouldn't have died. They would've gone knowing I loved them, and not after an argument.

I never got to tell them I love them. And that's what hurts the most; that their last memory of me was accusing them of raising me wrong.

==

There is a black hole inside of me. I feel like all my feelings have been sucked up and stored away in some pit of emptiness. I run a hand through my hair, and stare at the water below. It's black and polluted, infested with years of our debris and strewn carelessly into what used to be a beautiful river. I wipe away a tear, but don't bother to get rid of the rest. They fall simultaneously, one after the other in perfect order. I watch helplessly as they hit the concrete underneath my bare legs. I pull my hoodie sleeves over my pale hands and sigh.

My parents are dead. I have told myself that many, many times, but every time I find a new solace in my tears. Every time it stings a little more.

"Hey." I jump and spin my head to see Penny standing above me.

"Hi," I breathe, wiping away my tears quickly.

"Are you ok?" she asks. I nod, turning back towards the night sky.

"I know you're not. But you should know you will be. I'd know," She says softly, sitting down next to me. Her black combat boots and leather jacket make me feel self conscious in my black denim shorts and hoodie.

"How would you know?" I ask, still staring at the stars, even though they're mostly obscured by clouds.

"You don't need to know."

"I'm sorry." I say, turning to look at her, her short brown hair surprsingly dishevelled and her eyes filed with tears.

"It's okay, but I will show you something." She says. And then, she pulls up her sleeve where there is a long jagged scar going from her wrist to her elbow. Beside it, is a tattoo of three hearts, two large white ones and a smaller yellow one. Each are perfectly drawn, delicate and perfect.

"It's beautiful," I whisper, running a finger along it.

"We need to get you a tattoo." She says, smiling. I smile back, nodding.

"Yeah, maybe like a massive Justin Bieber on my back," I suggest, and she laughs. Her head falls back, hair swinging around her neck and I laugh with her. She takes my hand, and stands up, pulling me up with her. I throw one last look to the bridge, sitting silently as hundreds of cars cross over before quickly running to catch up with Penny, already at the end.

When we walk back into the house, Aaron is sat at the island alone. He smiles at me and I smile back, walking over to the sink to get a glass of water.
Pen nudges my side and winks. I roll my eyes.

"Hey Kennedy?" Asks Aaron, I spin around too fast and the glass catches on the tap, smashes and cuts my finger.
"Oh shnit." I say, waving my finger like an idiot. Penny smirks and leaves the room. Aaron walks over to me and takes my finger, running it under the tap. I look up at his face, laced with concentration as he puts a plaster on my finger from the first aid kit under the sink. He catches me looking and looks me in the eyes. I'm caught up in his gaze and his eyes flick down to my lips. I smile slightly and he blinks.
He starts to close the gap and I suck in a breath.
"Ken, are you okay?" It's Derek. Stars appear in my vision and Aaron clears his throat as we step away from each other. I can feel my cheeks heat up, and I watch out of the corner of my eye as Aaron strides out. Derek walks over to me and takes my finger. Then, he looks in the sink.
"What happened?" He asks, looking me in the eye. I blink twice, shoving myself back into reality.
"I, Uh, I jumped and caught it on the sink. It smashed." I say quietly, eyeing the shattered glass. Then, my eyes flick to my finger which is still seeping blood through the plaster. Derek puts a second plaster over the top of the first.
"Are you ok?" He asks.
"It's just a little cut," I say, meeting his eyes.
"No, I mean, Aaron looked pretty pissed when he left," he continues.
I nod.
"Yeah, everything's breezy."

What the hell just happened?

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I don't even know what to say anymore, what the frick happened to my writing skills. This is ANOTHER chapter from the original.

I promise it will get better, I hope. 😊

K byeeee