Girl Talk

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When we parked the limo, we all got out and walked back to school. It was Lonnie, Jay, Evie and Carlos at the front followed by Mal and Peter than followed by Ben and I. I was in my own world and didn't notice Peter and Lonnie leave. "Do you wanna cancel?" Ben asked, snapping me out of my daydream. I looked up at him.

"Um, you know what, I can come back." Jane said.

"No, no, now's fine." He looked at Jane's tablet for a second before looking back at me. "Do whatever you need to do." Mal and Evie both grabbed my upper arms as we started to walk back to our dorm.

"We need to talk." Evie said,

"Like right now." Mal added.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"No." Carlos stated. We turned to him.

"No?" Evie questioned.

"You guys are always going off in a huddle, whispering your girl talk stuff or whatever. And Jay and I are tired of it."

"I'm not." Jay argued.

"Were your family too. We've been through alot together, were not stopping that now. Ok. Everyone sit." Carlos sat cross legged on the floor with Dude in his arms. "Come on." We all reluctantly sat on the grass in a circle. "I don't know how to start girl talk."

"What up?" Jay said to start us off.

"Well...I-I'm a complete mess." I admitted, "Six months ago, I was....stealing candy from babies and six months before that I was protecting Uma from the Isle in whatever way I could but now...everybody wants me to be this, lady of the court, and I have no idea on how to keep up this act." Evie's hand was on my shoulder and Mal's hand grasping one of mine.

"Then don't." Carlos suggested.

"See, this was dumb." Jay said as he went to stand,

"Maybe it wasn't." Evie said, making Jay sit back down.

"We are always gonna be kids from the Isle." Mal agreed.

"I tried to forget it, I really tried but those are our roots."

"And we all did what was necessary to survive."

"But it made us who we are, and we're never gonna be like anyone else here."

"And that's ok."

"And we can't fake it." Carlos stated,

"And...that would be easy for me 'cause I don't have my spell book." I muttered,

"Well if Ben doesn't love the real you, he's not the one."

"I like that." Evie said.

"Give him a chance." There was a small pause,

"I'm gonna make some changes to your dress." Evie told me, "And if your up for it, only if your up for it, it'll be waiting for you, ok?" I gave Evie a small nod. Mal and Evie both gave me a side bug and stood along with Jay and Carlos. They all let me sit there for a second. Jay then sat next to me again. I looked up at him through my lashes,

"Come to Cotillion tonight, alright." He told me, "If Ben isn't smart enough to love you and you can't stand another day, I'll drive you back tomorrow myself." I gave Jay a smile and a nod. He clapped me on the shoulder and stood again, leaving me to my thoughts.

If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?
Ah oh, yeah

If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh, if only

If only

I took a deep breath and stood, picking up my backpack. I made my decision. 

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