The Modern Queen

3AM

3AM or equivalent, no matter where in the universe you were, was a magical time. It was a time where, amid the shadows and the silence, truth came out to walk among mankind once more. This was on Talitha's mind as she listened to Alinora's breathing in the darkness. Maybe that's why she said what she did.

"I'm tired of missing you," she breathed.

"I'm right here," Alinora said, hand touching Talitha's as if to prove it. The bed shifted, springs creaking, as Alinora rolled to face her.

"That's not what I meant," Talitha murmured. "I mean... I'm tired of..." She was tired of feeling that ache, that emptiness where she knew Alinora was supposed to go. She was tired of looking at what they had, what was between them and... ignoring it. She was tired of missing a feeling she had never actually had, and knowing that Alinora was the cause.

She wanted.

She wanted a resolution. One way or the other.
But how was she supposed to say that out loud, when she was so terrified of what that resolution might be?

"I'm tired of missing an almost," she said finally, because that was close enough to the truth, without baring herself completely.

The words hung in the silence between them for a bit. All that kept her from panicking was the weight of Alinora's hand in her own.

Finally, Alinora said, her voice barely a whisper, "Me too." She squeezed Talitha's hand, and Talitha took it as a cue to be quiet. She must have been right, because a few heartbeats later, Alinora continued. "But I'm... afraid."

"Me too," she whispered. "I've never felt like this before."

"I have," Alinora said. "Or similarly. It didn't..."

Talitha was the one to squeeze her hand this time. "What happened?" she whispered.

"Liera. My.. my girlfriend. She was there. The night of the break-in."

Alinora didn't say any more than that. She didn't have to. Talitha tightened her grip on Alinora's hand, wanting to pull her into a hug but not sure it would be welcomed.

"I'm sorry," she said.

Alinora let out a soft, shaky sigh. "Me too."

Talitha could understand why she'd been so hesitant. Why Alinora had kept her distance, all this time, why she rebuffed Talitha at every turn. It made Talitha want to share her own reasons, even if they weren't as profound. She scooted closer, just a little.

"My dad tried to set me up with this guy," she said quietly. "Old money. Raised like a prince. Given everything he ever wanted. My father... knew that the match would bring status. And new business opportunities. I was like. I dunno. 15? Obviously we weren't going to get married yet, but they wanted us to hang out. Date. Get used to the idea." Talitha shrugged.

Lyr and Ava had been overseas at the time. She'd almost ranted to him about it multiple times, but... what could he have done? Other than begged a plane ticket out of his mother. And assaulting the guy. And ending up in juvie.

"Long story short, guy was a spoiled asshole. Gave me a black eye, 'cause I wouldn't fuck him. So I broke his nose. Anyway. Combine that with my parent's happy marriage, and the relationships of those around me, and I dunno. I just decided to pass up the whole thing."

Alinora hummed. "What changed your mind?" she asked quietly, as if the answer wasn't obvious.

"You did."

"Oh." It was such a soft little noise. It made Talitha want to kiss her. She almost did, before she remembered herself.

"Yeah," she said. You could hear the smile in her voice. It made her smile widen.

Alinora cleared her throat lightly, and Talitha almost wished there was a light. It wasn't very often you got to see Alinora blush.

"You make me want to try again," Alinora said quietly.

And. Oh. Yeah. Now Talitha was blushing. That used to be a rare occasion, but. Alinora was very, very good at it. Too good at it, really. It ought to be criminal.

"Um." Talitha said.

Alinora laughed. Small, short, more a mirthful breath than a true laugh. But it was there, and it made Talitha blush brighter.

"Why don't we. You know. Try. Maybe."

Another little breath of a laugh. "Why, Ms. Jade, are you asking me on a date?"

"Actually," Talitha said, pushing up onto her elbow. "I'm asking you to be my girlfriend."

She couldn't see Alinora's eyebrows raise in the dark, but she knew her well enough to know that's what was happening.

"Forward."

"I'm a forward gal," Talitha said with a shrug.
A few heartbeats of silence. Alinora was still holding her hand.

"Yeah," she said finally. So soft Talitha almost didn't hear her. "Yeah." Louder, that time. "Let's try."

Talitha grinned."Does. Does that mean I can kiss you? 'Cause I've kind of been wanting to for a while now."

Alinora laughed a bit. "Normally I'd make you take me on a date first," she teased. "But I guess we have been on a few already, haven't we?"

"If you wanna think of 'em like that, princess."

Talitha couldn't see her roll her eyes, either, but that didn't mean she didn't know she was doing it.

"Just kiss me, dummy."

"Romantic," Talitha breathed.

She kissed Alinora before she could reply.