𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝙻𝙾𝚂𝙴 𝙼𝙴

Tell Me Everything's Gonna Be Alright.

"As we watch Debra Morris body being lowered into the ground, let's not dwell on her death, but celebrate her life."

"Breathe. Jhene you gotta breathe ma." Snapping out of my thoughts, I began taking deep breaths as I watched my Mother's grave being lowered into the ground on this warm fall morning in Chicago. It was slightly windy but not too cold, I felt the light rain landing on my arm causing tiny goosebumps to cover my arm. 

Heart Attack.

I'm sure when she went to sleep that night, she just knew she'd wake up the next morning.

Yet here we are.

Grabbing the cream satin tissue Jeremiah held out to me, I hesitantly wiped the tears that were running down my face uncontrollably not even caring about my makeup at this point. Shifting my eyes to the left, there was my father and sister standing together as he held an umbrella over them. His arm was thrown around her neck, as Jayda leaned onto his shoulder slowly breaking down.

As Jeremiah followed my eyes watching their embrace, he sucked his teeth looking down at me pulling me into his arms.

"I got'chu aight." Looking up at his dark brown eyes, I rubbed my hand down his cold cheek nodding my head.

As the men began to place soil over the grave, everyone headed back into the Church.

Walking downstairs into the basement, the entire room was filled with pictures of my mother. Picture of her mom bringing her home from the hospital, kindergarten graduation, high school graduation, wedding, there were portraits all around the room. Funny thing is, I've never seen most of these photos before.

Assessing the tables, I noticed the table in the center of the room with my father, my sister, and I's name on it. Pointing it out to Jeremiah, he nodded, leading me over to the table pulling up a chair for himself. Before we arrived, I made it clear to him that he wasn't to leave my side. I didn't even want to attend if I'm being honest, but Jeremiah was right, I didn't want to regret it down the road.

"I gotta piss, be right back." Nodding I watched as he made his way through the crowd of people. J wore a black dress shirt, black dress pants, black timbs, a few silver chains, with black shades on that were so dark you could hardly see his eyes. I wore a simple blacks dress, black cardigan, with black pumps, and a pair of Jeremiah's shades.

Grabbing the glass of water from the table, I took a sip watching as all these unfamiliar faces filled the room. I've never met anyone on my mother's side, except her mother who came by the house once when I was younger but she didn't even bother come inside. One day when I finally got my father alone, I asked him why neither of their families wanted anything to do with us. And he simple said, "Your mother and I don't want evil around our children" and that's all I ever got. 

During the funeral service, I saw my Uncle Mark standing in the back of the church but he disappeared halfway through and I have yet to see his ass again. I made sure to keep J's focus from where he was standing, going to the county jail wasn't in my agenda this evening.

"Hey sister, it's good to see you." Jayda whispered leaning down to side hug me, while pulling out the chair directly next to me. Jayda wore an all-black matching suit, with a necklace with a picture of her and my mother's face on it. I stared at the necklace as she leaned down on my shoulder while in the embrace.

"Somebody's sitting there."

"Oh uh...my bad."

Walking around to the other side, Jayda took a seat as my father and Jeremiah walked up at the same time. My father wore a black suit, black dress shoes and a cream hat, he looked absolutely terrible. His hazel eyes were close to black, so puffy that they were basically shut and his nose was puffy red. Taking a seat next to Jayda, he smiled in my direction before leaning on Jayda's shoulder sulking.

"You good?" Jeremiah questioned sitting down next to me, nodding my head I grabbed his hand intertwining our fingers as the event began.

Lord sometimes I feel like I can't make it
Make me over again
Lord sometimes I feel like I can't go on
Make me over again
But lord I need you to wrap your arms around me
Make me over again
Lord I need you to wrap yours arms around me
Make me over again
And tell me everything's gonna be alright

I watched as this young beautiful mocha chocolate little girl sang her heart out in front of a room of people. I admired her confidence, she wore her kinky hair in two low puffs along with a pure white puffy dress. The pain she portrayed with her voice brought me to tears.

"Rest in peace Ms. Morris."

"Ayo whoever that little girl is, best believe she singing at our wedding. Had a nigga blinking hella hard and shit." Lightly chuckling, I shook my head as I watched my father and this women appearing to be arguing as we walked up to J's truck.

"FUCK YOU MONICA, showing up here, how dare you?!" My father yelled shoving the women in her chest using his finger, as she pushed him back getting into his face.

"HOW DARE ME, HOW DARE YOU! I have allowed you to block me out for long enough and I'm done, your not shutting me out no more. THAT IS MY DAUGHTER, I CARRIED HER, THE ONLY THING THAT'S KEEPING ME FROM STABBING YA WRINKLIY ASS RIGHT HERE... RIGHT NOW... is that broken girl I saw in there. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER MARTIN!?"

"Uhhh Dad.... J and I are heading out excuse me for interrupting." I slowly looked between my father and the woman hella confused, as Jeremiah stood behind me peeping the vibes as well.

Making eye contact with the woman, she stared at me so intensively that it was making me uncomfortable. She wore a navy blue dress, white pumps, and a huge white hat with her black hair pulled into a low bun. I can tell she was older, but her brown skin was so smooth and healthy that she appeared to be so youthful.

"Hi.... Um.... I'm Monica. Jhene.... Right?" Looking from her held out hand to my fuming father, I held out my fist as the woman looked at me chucking, giving me a fist pound. "Attitude, just like...."

"THAT'S ENOUGH Monica, thank you Jhene for coming I'm gonna call you to check up okay. Just remember, your Mother loved you."

"Bye Dad." Quickly giving him a side hug, not taking my eyes off the mysterious woman. "It was nice meeting you umm... Monica."

"Likewise." Excusing herself as she made her way between Jeremiah and I, she discretely grabbed my hand sliding a piece of paper into the hold as she continued walking, not even looking back.

As Jeremiah shook my Dad's hand, we made our way  over to the truck as Jeremiah held the door open for me then walked over to the other side getting in.

"Jhene. What the fuck was that?"

"Jeremiah. I don't even know."

"I'm not even trynna be funny bae, but she has ya eyes bae. Talk just like you, ARGUE JUST LIKE YOU, it was like watching a mirror image mane." Leaning over the console, Jeremiah grabbed a pencil case from out of his glow department that I bought him a few months ago.

Holding out a blunt infront of me, I shook my head as I leaned my seat back feeling a strong ass migraine coming on. Forgetting all about the paper in my now sweaty hand, I opened up my hand slowly unraveling the little index card.

Monica Stockton.

Attorney at Law Office.

1 (888) 280 - 4**1

mStockton@gmail.com

"What's dat?" Snapping out of my thoughts, I looked over at Jeremiah watching as he inhaled nodding towards the card that was in my hand.

"She slipped me her card."