Irredeemably Me

"Careful, you sound like you care."

When Camila awoke, it was to a ceiling as unfamiliar as the bed her body was resting on. Her mind searched for her very last memory but all she saw were a set of red eyes and all she heard were the protests slipping past Lauren's lips and then...nothing.

Her hand instinctively went to her neck and when she drew it back, her fingers were sprinkled with blood long dried and that told Camila everything she needed to know. It sparked the very last thought that ran through her mind before she met her end once more.

And it was a simple thought that hurt more than she assumed it would.

She couldn't trust anyone...not even Lucy.

"It took you longer to wake." Camila shuffled up the bed and hugged her legs to her chest as her eyes found Lauren perched at the very end of the bed, her eyes as clouded as her mind. "For a mere moment, after I woke, I entertained the idea that you'd truly met your end at the hands of my cousin."

"You would've loved that." Camila scoffed, rolling her eyes. Her joints all feeling strained. "Where is she?"

"She fled the very moment her mind caught up with her actions," Lauren shrugged. "I suppose we'll be seeing her but she will need to regain her control. She never wished to take your life, Camila. She is not like the majority of my kind, she feels more so than most."

"She still killed me, Lauren," Camila ran a hand through her hair, not at all wanting to hear the vampire's attempt at justifying what her cousin had done. "I get that you did it, you barely have a heart...but Lucy was my friend."

"That is precisely why she cannot live with herself at this moment in time," Lauren ignored the way the brunette's words caused a moment of annoyance to wash through her. "You will forgive Lucy, be it now or later, but know...she would die before she willingly attacked you."

"She chose to-"

"She chose nothing," Those green eyes took on a dark shade. "You know nothing of hunger, Camila. The hunger my kind feels is constant, it is as ever-present as we are and it tears at our self-control. We fight it every second we walk this earth and Lucy more so than any other creature you will ever know. The very moment you offered her your blood, you placed a temptation before her that broke apart any control she had. She was close to death and you offered her the very life she had been fighting against for over a century." The vampire stood from the bed. "Killing you was not her choice, it was a bi-product of her very existence."

"You know," Camila rubbed a hand over her face before making a move to leave the bed. "For someone who claims not to have a heart...you have a huge one when it comes to Lucy."

"You were wrong, Camila," Lauren appeared before the brunette, sparking that familiar sense of fear from the girl in doing so. "You said I would love it if you were to die at the hands of my cousin, but you were wrong." The vampire's cold hand tilted the brown-eyed girl's chin up for their eyes to meet. "I would not take any pleasure in your death."

"You've said it before, Lauren," Camila rolled her eyes. "You want me dead."

"Wanted." The vampire dropped her hand and took a step back. "Come," She turned her back on the brunette. "I coerced the motel staff to keep their restaurant open for you to be fed, I imagine you could do with a meal."

"Lauren," Said girl turned as her name was spoken. "What changed?"

"You saved my cousin's life," The green-eyed girl shrugged. "Perhaps you are right, perhaps Lucy is the embodiment of my heart, perhaps in her death...I too would find my own, and I certainly do not long for that."

"I think you made me do it, kind of like a trigger," Camila offered the vampire a small smile. "I saw you fighting to get to her, I saw how...scared you were of losing her. Lucy has this crazy idea that I could be your redemption, I could bring you back to some semblance of humanity...but I think she's wrong. I think she's your humanity."