Kingdom Dawning

Chapter Nineteen

I heard three pops of a gun. They were deafeningly loud and echoed through my chest then rattled my bones. If heard the shot then why did I not feel them? Was my body in too much shock to process what happened? I knew I wasn't in shock since when my body bounced off the ground the impact made all the air leave my lung in one sharp push. I felt a fire of pain flare up my back and course through my veins.

I once believed the screams in horror were for me. That the way my brothers and Quillan ran was out of fear for me. I assumed they were worried about me. But when they ran past me I soon wished it was for me. When I sat up and turned around to see the scene behind the feeling of my airless lungs and agony in my bones did not matter anymore. My body shook like a leaf in the wind when I viewed my mother with three bullet holes in my mother's chest. She had knocked me out of the way of the gun man that was now being chased by Quillian. She was spread out against the yellow sunflowers, blood turning the petals crimson red. I wanted to run but only managed short steps. As I drew closer, I could hear the deep sound of her struggling to breath, gaggling of blood filling her mouth. Efrain was clinging to my mother for dear life as Taj tried to pry him off.

"Mom!" he screamed with such pain in his voice that I was almost convinced he had been shot.

"Efrain y-....You need to...." Finally Taj fell to his knees and cradled our mother's head. He knew there was nothing we could do. The castle was too far for us to carry her and my powers; even if I knew how to control them, seemed useless. Her face was already turning pain and her fierce look in her eyes lessened. I kneeled beside her and gripped her hands that once braided my hair, now they were turning blue. She turned her eyes slowly over to me and I could tell she wanted to tell me something but had now voice to do so. I felt there was no emotion to describe how I felt. I was not mad nor would the simple word sad come close to the deep misery I was experiencing. Shattered was how I felt. The people I loved were disappearing and the things that once gave me joy had now only broke my heart. The things that made Cyra Cyra were slowly disappearing. I was shattering and coming something I did not recognize.

My mom slowly let go of my hand and reached up to one of the bullet holes in her chest and lightly let her finger graze the surface. I could see in her face how much that act hurt her by the shriveled face she expressed. She coated her finger in blood before she reached up and painted a small heart on my cheek. Her touch still had the same sense of calm to it, but her once warm scent had now turn metallic and cold. She moved onto my brothers and traced hearts onto their cheeks. This was her last I love you.

Taj leaned his head onto her shoulder as he tried to bribe her to stay alive.

"Please...p-please...I will do anything if you just fight," Efrain tried to cover the holes with his hand as if that would save her. She gripped my hand once again and looked at me, staring into my soul. Her glossing over gazed spoke a million words.

"Goodbye mother," I mouthed to her. I wanted to scream, to cry out like a wounded animal but I felt as though my voice and my tears were taken away from me. I felt as though the part of me that wanted to feel grief, sadness, and anger was locked in a glass box but even as it screeched at me, I felt nothing, I did nothing. I kissed the back of her hand that was still covered in hot blood.

Though my mother's eyes were open I knew she was gone. My brother clung to each other as they wept. I wanted to cry more than anything. I wanted to howl curses into the air but all I did was stare. I stared at nothing, even after my soldiers came and dragged me away . My body did not even have the strength to walk so someone I had never met before had to throw me over their soldier just to move me.

I didn't even realize I had gotten back into the castle into a horde of people rushed over to me. I was sitting in my room as maids came and tried to clean me off and removed my bloodied clothes from me. That triggered something in me. I began to scream. Even after the maids backed away and some left the room I continued to scream. I laid on the ground with my knees pulled tightly into my chest. Tree branches came through the window and shattered the glass. I didn't even attempt to shield myself from the sharp shards. I was a coward, I was weak. I was a queen who couldn't control her powers and let her mother die.