Bad Boys Wear Pink

8. The Fuckem

Now that I was retarded, I knew we were in for it.

Beef Daddy grabbed his hammer and in the blink of an eye, we were at the birth cock of Fuck That Baby. His DILF of a brother was nowhere to be seen, so Fortillcock started yodeling like a fuck. She was clearly distressed.

"Hey it'll be okay slut," Juniper Nightengale MC Hammer said to her, "He is coming."

Oh fuck. Another bitch? Here we go.

"Welcome to the Fuckem," Beef Boi said, "Every year we come here to host the annual Assburger Korean BBQ. After we feast on the skinch-binch children, we like to take their skin and craft beautifully made coats. We usually close everything down early, though, because Juniper McFuckSlut gets too horny and nearly drowns the population."

"What the fuck does that even mean?" I asked. Yanno, cause i'm retarded.

"IT MEANS HER PUSSY WET DAWG," some random eboy shouted, appearing out of nowhere, then swan-diving into the sea of HydroFucks, sksksksksk-ing the whole way down.

An eboy with a hydro fuck? Absolutely unheard of.

"Can we hurry the fuck up," Cocktillsuck said impatiently, "My boyfriend is almost here and if i don't get rawed within the next 3 seconds,  i'll kill you with my sports car."

"hey why don't you lose the attitude, ginger fuck?" i snapped at her. I'd had enough of this bitch's shit.

"i can LITERALLY afford to buy and sell you. do you wanna be a sex slave for one direction? didn't think so BITCH. this isn't 2013."

damn. fortillcock didn't come to fuck around.

"i just wanna be a tiktok legend," Juniper Nightengale MC Hammer sobbed suddenly, putting on her lolita fashion, mickey mouse ears, and frozen wig, "why can't i be living the dream in the mickey mouse fuck house?"

"it'll be okay dumb bitch. I brought breakfast, lunch, AND dinner," Fortillcock reassured her, pulling a bucket of coke out her pussy. Where's the alto?

"thank god," Junewhore sighed, "i need to stay skinny and the trifecta of eating fucks is getting so exhausting. I need to slide under the door. sorry to be THIS skinny, but we're the best."

"i'll snort to that," Fortfuck said. I watched the two of them start shoveling handfuls of coke up their assholes.

"uh, i don't think that's how you do drugs," i told them. my lizard almost died in a crackhouse. i know these things.

"okay CLEARLY you've never been to Azkaban," they said simultaneously.

"DONT WORRY!" Beef boy screamed, scaring the piss outta me, "ILL SHOW YOU THAT NEXT."

"hah you pissed yourself. I know someone who would've LOVED that," Fortillcock said, "he kept trying to fuck my dog."

Before i could respond, a massive cloud formed in the sky and a 300 foot long dick began unrolling like the red carpet.

"he's HERE!" Jewfuck and Fortillshit screeched in unison, watching as the most godly man i had ever seen slid down to the ground on his own magnum dong.

"Je suis,Fuckers?" he asked us, speaking perfect french. god, that's so sexy.

"okay well you all suck, except for Juniper Nighowl MC Hambone, so i need to go pipe Dr. Daddy IMMEDIATELY."

"can i come?" i asked, still retarded as shit, pushing my luck.

"sorry," Fort knox said, tying Dr. Daddy's dick around her waist, "The fuckshack capacity is 3."

as i watched them fly away into the stormy sky, i knew what my next mission was.

i had to get in the fuckshack.

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stop being brind!!!!! is bad fo yo eye.