Bad Boys Wear Pink

10. The Nipple King

Now that I finally escaped Harry and the crackhead gang, Deb, Lezbischnitzel, JuniperNightengale MC Hambone, Beef Daddy, Horny DILF, and Fortillfuck I felt like a new woman. I'd retaken my dragon form so that I could return to Earth and restore balance to the universe, burning down eleventy-seven orphanages in the process. There was never a bad time to barbecue underprivileged children and I absolutely did not give one cocksucc about anything anymore.

The school day was almost over now, so I decided to head back to my house, hopping into my brand new red convertible X1 Porsche C-Section 69, running over my brother's right leg when I pulled up to the front of his Schoo. Y'all hoes might have forgotten he existed, but since I'm a real nectarine. I didn't forget. Oranges don't forget blood dawg. Fuck your momma.

"Timothy, you fucking cunt, get in the DILF Mobile or I'll cripple your left leg too then you'll be so fucking paralyzed your dick won't be able to twitch whenever the cat comes into the room anymore," I cried. I might not be as fruity as I thought, because I can't remember what this little twats name is.

"My name is fucking Lionel and I need to go to a hospital," my brother said, face red with pain, but still calm despite the tragic "accident."

"We, uh- we can't. All the orphanages got burned down."

"An orphanage isn't a hospital you goddamn rotisserie," lion penis said. what a fucking fuck.

"you're a real fucking piglet you know that, Timmy?"

"that's not my name!" Timmy cried, drawing the attention of the other kids' parents as he stood there pitching a fucking fit and bleeding out. Jesus, this kid is a fucking bitch.

"whatever, bitch. I've got business to attend to" I said, throwing on some vercocky sunglasses, applying motor oil to my nipples. with just the right amount of sunlight and cool breeze, my hair was beginning to billow around me like the prettiest goddamn ginger pubes you've ever seen. I know I wasn't ginger at the beginning of this story, but Assburger changes people. Moving in slow motion, motor oil glistening like a thousand tiny crystals, I turned to my brother and pulled the sunglasses down a smidge on my nose. "And besides. I don't like pussies."

I ran over my brother again and  pulled outta there like the dead guy from fast and furious was challenging me to a race, promising to fist me so hard I had an anal prolapse if I won. My need for speed made my dick wet, and listening to Charlie XCX and BIgKlit helped me transcend through the front door of my house and up towards the attic, where my Nipple Kingdom was.

After all, I am the Nipple King.

Freshly lubed and ready to rumble, I sat on my throne of big ass purple dongs- representing my passion for our lord and savior Thanos. I placed the nipple crown on my head and relaxed into my seat, knowing that one day soon I would have a nipple queen to help me rule the rats in the attic nipple paradise. it was fun living with the whole cast of Ratpatootie, especially because the ginger chef lived up here, too. I kept him chained to the wall wearing nothing but a chefs hat so his little rat master could have a safe place to pull the strings. Something was different about today, though. At first, I thought it was just another rat, eyes gleaming in the corner, staring at me intently.

"you want some fucking cheese or something, you little plate ridden bastard?" I asked, slightly annoyed. I was trying to massage my tiddies. The rat did nothing and and made no attempt to move any closer. just when I was about to give up, it squinted at me and I was alarmingly aware of the fact that the rat bitch was actually human. I had a feeling life was about to get so much more interesting.

Slithering out of the dark, riding on her ukulele, quirky bitch was revealed to me. Her bangs were only half an inch long, serving literally no other purpose than to make her look nasty. I felt horror start to set in when she began plucking the strings of her instrument with only the strap of her overall.

"WiAse mAN saE onLy FoOLs rUesh eNNNN," quirky bitch began singing.

fuck. it was Quirky Bitch. I was utterly terrified, but her painted jeans she created on tiktok could smell fear. Besides, this was my kingdom. I had the ultimate rule over what happens. I was, however, confused as to how she managed to get her overall strap to hit all the right notes. with every syllable she came closer, although she would've got here faster had she not added so many extra ones.

"but eYaee CaeNT help fAeLLing iN lOeVe WiTH YuOue." With that final note, I was faced with Quirky Bitch, knowing she was about to challenge me for the throne.

"Haie bieatch,"Quirky Cunt said, "Iae've bennn expeACcting yEw."