Xenia sat at her desk in her apartment in Seattle, putting the finishing touches on the book. Xeniaa sighed, having written the last words of the book she'd decided to call Dirty Little Secrets. The title had struck her on the plane, and it seemed perfect. The book was
filled with secrets.
It also seemed the perfect title to sum up her memories of what had happened on the mountain. She'd told Monica she'd slept with her cousin, but she'd given her friend none of the naughty details not about the webcam or about Tommy, not about every other new experience Justin had opened to her, and she never would. Those secrets would belong to Xeni alone. Well, and Justin, too, of course.
She'd handled their good-bye like a pro a few tender kisses at the door, and out she'd gone, a brave new woman, ready to face the world now
changed and emboldened because of him. And she'd remained strong since then but also a little torn inside, if she was honest with herself.
A sensual exhilaration stil echoed through her when she remembered the things she'd shared with him. Justin had given her ultimate thrills, and he hadn't judged her for her decisions; he'd truly wanted only to give her pleasure. She knew she would cherish the memories they'd created in the mountainside house together for the rest of her life, even if they were so outside her normal world that they almost seemed dreamy and unreal now.
But at the same time, she couldn't deny the sadness stil lurking inside her from missing him. Missing the intimacy they'd shared, and even just his company. She feared she'd never experience that much intimacy with a man again. No other guy could ever open her up like that, get to those parts of her, make her so comfortable with things that had started out seeming so forbidden. How on earth did a girl just say good-bye to that kind of trust, that kind of sharing?
Hard to believe, she thought, still staring at her computer screen, that it had al started with a secret camera, and the man behind it. One more dirty little secret, she thought with a melancholy sigh.
Two weeks after turning in the book, Xenia sat down at her computer in her snowflake-print flannel pajamas and lowered her coffee mug to the coaster on her desk. After a brief glance out the window at the morning quiet of her Capitol Hil neighborhood, she hit the button to retrieve her mail.
She clicked to open one from her editor, Karen, sporting the subject line: DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS INDEED!
Xeni sat before her computer, stunned. She couldn't have been more thrilled with her editors response to a book she'd truly fallen in love with as she'd written.
Taking a deep breath, she hit reply.
Karen so glad you like the book! I'm really proud of it. Thank you for your feedback it means the world to me and hopefully i will be making a a sequel! so stay tune.
She sighed at having been forced to think about Justin this early in the morning. Not even 8
a.m., and there he was, on the brain, where he would likely stay all day now. She sometimes thought he filled her thoughts as much as he had when she'd been at the house in Vail. The only difference was, instead of being able to fuck him at night, she only lay down in her bed and remembered. Every touch. Every penetration. Every spine tingling, soul stirring kiss.
The next e-mail she opened was from Monica.
Well? Are you going out with the Starbucks dude?
Xenia actually shivered. A cute guy who hung at the Starbucks a few blocks away had asked her out last week, and she hadn't exactly given him an answer, even as Monica had stood elbowing her and tel ing the guy how much Xenia loved Mexican food.
A couple of months ago, she would have definitely accepted the invitation. He was good looking, had a great smile, and whatever he did for a living, it required wearing a well cut suit and tie. But for some reason she hadn't been able to put her finger on, she'd hesitated, telling him she'd have to get back to him. Now, having thought about it, she could put her finger on what the problem was she didn't feel especial y comfortable with the idea of anyone touching her but Justin. And since dating customarily led to touching, it just seemed like a bad idea.
