Imperfect

10. Innocent

Innocent by Taylor Swift

It's alright, just wait and see

Your string of lights is still bright to me

Oh, who you are is not where you've been

You're still an innocent

You're still an innocent

Did some things you can't speak of

But at night you'll live it all again

You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now

If only you had seen what you know now then

Kayla

I know.

What would you know? I killed my Dad.

I sit still, crossing my legs on the bed as she sits down. Waiting for her to go on. She takes a deep breath, the aura around her changing from silver-green to purple. She hesitates for a moment. I know she's wondering whether to really trust me or not. How much she's willing to lose all over again. Fayth. She looks up at me, her shoulders hunched, her eyes haunted. It's okay. Forget I asked. But then her aura burns bright yellow, like she thinks this might be a chance for her to change everything. Hope. That maybe she wouldn't have to keep her pain to herself anymore. I don't know. Maybe.

I helped my brother kill our parents.

I remain quiet, but I doubt I can mask the look of shock on my face.

I guess we're the same. She smiles.

Your brother. What happened to him?

He...he left me behind and went away to study . We were taken in by a relative and he requested to go to another town for his studies. He told me he couldn't stay with me any longer. After all, he dragged me into our parents' murder. He said he would be a danger to me so he would leave for my sake.

Oh. I'm sorry for asking. The reason he left, is a bit like my reason for leaving my mother and friend behind. By the way, where is this relative of yours?

He works overseas quite often so he is usually not home. This friend you mentioned, who is she?

Friend? I'm not even sure if Ashlye considers me one after I left her behind.

Her name is Ashlye . She's the only reason why I held on to hope. I trail off, then add softly. And also the reason why I left. She is the only person in this world that can truly understand me and she was the only one who was there for me back then. She knows everything about me, my hopes, dreams, everything. Remember that night you found me, Fayth? The stars always reminded me of her, that's why you found me under the tree, which sounds so damned weird but I just wanted to be under the sky again, watching the stars like we used to, almost as if I could take everything back, everything. If I hadn't left her behind when I ran away from my own problems. I was a coward and I know it. All those years ago, I promised her that everything would be okay so long as we believed in each other, that I would be there for her no matter what. The light from my star never shined the way I promised her they would be. I pause for breath, blinking hard to keep my tears back, drawing my legs into my chest. I close my eyes.I know she hates me now. My heart clenches, but there's no running away from the truth. She will, anyway, once she finds out the entire truth, All she knows right now is a white lie. She knows my father is dead, but she doesn't know that he wasn't killed by a simple overdose, but by my blood-stained hands. She'll hate me once she finds out.

All my frustrations, my pains, my worries and my broken self, it became endless tears which I kept back, behind a flawless facade of perfectness, masking my despair, my depression. I don't hold it in any longer. I let it pour out, the tears of sadness, pain and every negative emotion a person could possibly have.

It's okay. I'm sure someone who was so close to you would understand your actions and reasons. I'm sure she will never abandon you and will always consider you a friend. Let all the pain out. Fayth gets up, wrapping her arms around me. Hey, it's okay. Lives change like the weather, Kay. But I hope you'll remember today's never too late to be brand new. Okay, I just quoted a song but ignore that. I smile despite my tears. Let's go outside. I look up at her, cocking my head to one side, questioningly, but she only smiles mysteriously and pulls me off the bed. We hurtle down the corridor, down the stairs and out of the door, pausing long enough for both of us to grab our jackets. She takes me down a path covered with leaves, until we're in the middle of a thicket of trees.

Look up.

I stare up at the sky, at the little diamonds twinkling in the vast expanse of sky, drinking it all it in. But then I turn my head to look at Fayth. Why? She puts her arm around my shoulders, thinking, her green aura shining brightly in the dark, blending in with the trees around us. Why would you do this for me?

You said that they remind you of her. Just stand here and remember. I'm sure she does that often too. She looks away, her arm falling to her side.

You haven't answered my question, dude.

She sighs. The truth? I never imagined I would meet somebody who would understand me. Like, I know some of my close friends would understand if I said I missed my parents. But none of them would understand why I killed them in the first place. Why I hate myself so much for it. I never thought I'll meet someone who would understand why I had to do it before the pain and anger consumed me. She trails off, tears glistening in the moonlight like jewels. I never thought I'll find someone who understood my pain cause she had gone through the exact same thing. She looks at me, and I nod. You get it, don't you? I nod again, smiling slightly. I look up at the sky

Ash, thank you. The wind blows past. Maybe it will carry my message to Ash.

Let's go.

Sure. We silently walk back to the house. Upon reaching the front door, I realise I didn't ask her something.

Hey, Fayth?

Yes?

What was your brother's name?