Imperfect

20. Colors

Colors by Halsey

You're dripping like a saturated sunrise

You're spilling like an overflowing sink

You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece

And now i'm tearing through the pages and the ink

Fayth

It's ironic how I remember the little things. Before.

Mum.

The way she used to smile at Kyle and me when we were younger, her eyes filled with love, care, like any other mother. How I used to say she was the best mother in the world, how I used to believe that my mum was invincible, infallible and would protect me no matter what.

And then how she started coming home late, a smile on her face, beautiful but fake, overly bright that it scared me. The fire in her eyes burning so bright, but filled with something else that I hadn't recognized then but did now. But I wasn't ready to admit that my world was pulling apart.

Dad.

The way I ran he used to pick me up in his arms, swinging me into the air, laughing, real laughing, real smiles, The way he used to hug me close, me and Kyle, hold me close like he could protect me from the world. And I felt safe, protected.

Then how that night screams echoed from Kyle's room, screams that still echo in my ears in place of silence. How Dad had never been the same since I woke up that morning afterwards. I wish I'd never woke up and stepped out of my room, I still bear the scars from that morning. I wish someone had taught me when to know when happy times end and move on to somewhere eles, how to get ready for the torm. Wish someone had taught me as a little kid that not everything is smiles and laughter.

How Kyle told me to trust no one but myself, how we spent our time in the house hiding. How we spent most of our childhood crying and earning scars.

-

Quiet thumps echo down the hallway. I don't bother reacting, for all I know it could be Uncle going to the toilet. Then, the door clicks. I sit up. Who is it? Uncle doesn't go out at this time. I slip out of bed, opening the door silently. I look around. No one is there. The door closes. I walk towards the sound, pausing at Kayla's room to knock on her door.

Kayla? There's no response from inside and I open her door. Who gives a damn if she's inside now. I peer in, shaking my head to accustom myself to the darkness. Kayla-are you here? My words echo around the empty room. She's gone.

Kayla? Kayla! I scream out. Where is she? She couldn't have, could she?

I sink to the floor. Did I do something again? Did I chase her away? Just like I drove Kyle to kill Mum and Dad?

<Flashback>

Kyle? Kyle? What's going on?

He faces me.

They are going to pay for every time they hit us, every time they hurt us, every time they force us to be something we don't want to be, every time they left us lonely for some random party. I won't let them go so easily.

We'll be fine, he concludes. I'll take care of it.. Everything. I promise.

I don't know whether he'll be able to keep this promise.

What are you going to do?

You'll see.

The door clicks open.

Hi, Mum. Hi, Dad. How was the party?

NOne of your business. Get out of our way.

Ok.

I have never seen him so obedient. Just what is he going to do?

Kyle walks away, into the kitchen.

They sit on the couch, grabbing the remote and stabbing it in the direction of the television, turning on the news.

Come here, Dad calls out to me. I shuffle to him quietly, bracing for the impact. He deals the first blow.

Someone else deals the second, which knocks him off the couch