Imperfect

24. Ronan

Ronan by Taylor Swift

I remember the drive home when the blind hope

Turned to crying and screaming, "Why?"

Flowers piled up in the worst way

No one knows what to say about a beautiful boy who died

And what if I really thought some miracle would see us through?

But what if the miracle was even getting one moment with you?

Fayth

A rustle of leaves. Then someone pushes their way through the leaves and branches, and I smile, knowing I've found her. Honestly it was pretty obvious that I would find Kayla here.

But the person who comes through isn't Kayla. It's a boy who looks older than me, maybe about Kyle's age if he was still alive now. He looks like he's seen a ghost when he looks at me. He cocks his head to the side, pursing his lips, looking at something just above my head, frowning.

Can you don't do that? It's creepy. Legit.

He stands upright, fidgeting with his hands, he seems nervous. His eyes flicker left and right. Dude. What do you want. I mean, I probably sound damn mean, no pun intended, but I'm not sure. I was totally creeped out by this guy.

Are you.......Fayth Rivers? Kyle's sister?

This boy...who is he?

How do you know my name? How do you know my brother?

So it is you.

Whatever.

Do you know what happened to your brother after he left?

Is he alive in the first place?

Kyle stiffens. How do you know about that?

So...he isn't.

Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Asher

I'm sorry, Fayth. He died in a car accident. There was a truck coming towards me, and he-I break off. I need to stop running from the truth, she deserves to know what happened to her brother. What actually happened, not those lies she was told.

The screech of tyres on concrete pavement. The terrified screams ringing in the air, my ears. I'm sorry I couldn't save him.

She's quiet for a moment, and I think she might not kill me after all. But then she opens her mouth to speak, and the words that come out are the worst I've ever heard. You watched him die without doing anything, didn't you. Her voice is low, but as sharp as a knife. You caused him to die. It's still your fault. Her eyes are glaring at me menacingly, looking as if she could kill me any minute. It's all your fault. It's all your fault. It's. All. Your. Fault. She emphasises on those words, and all I want to do right now is to run away - tears are already forming in my eyes, thinking about Kyle, thinking about everything that had happened.

STOP! stop, okay? I didn't kill him, I didn't! Why does everyone say that I killed him? That's everyone's reaction. Oh my god, you killed him! You're a murderer! I need to avoid you for the rest of my life! But I'm not! Okay? I'm sorry you lost your brother, but you don't know how much it hurts that you couldn't save your best friend because he died trying to save you and you couldn't do anything, something to save the person who saved your hell of a life! I'm breathless now, panting heavily, but she's just glaring at me unforgivingly. Like everyone else.......

You killed him, murderer, stop lying.

No! I had broken out in a run bach then but it was impossible to run away forever. I always heard them.

Murderer! You killed him!

Their voices always followed me like a shadow but there was no way I would have let that make me give up. That was back then.

But now...

You're a murderer, Asher Summers.

That was enough. She said it herself. His sister. She blames me too. There is no reason that I should live if even his sister can't forgive me.

I've had enough of it. I'm not going to be here anymore to hear them call me that.

I remember the last day before I left to come here, how Amanda stood at the door, words at the edge of her tongue but she held them back. Stay safe, she finally said. I'll miss you. How her gaze had followed me all the way to the gate until I was completely out of sight. The only thing I had done right, and I'll never be able to go back to it.

Without knowing it, I'm sprinting through the forest, not caring where I'm going, or whether she is following me. Tears are falling out of my eyes, falling behind me as I run. My mind is in a whirl. But I continue running. Then suddenly, the all too familiar screech of tyres on concrete pavement. The all too familiar huge truck. But I don't even stop.

As the truck nears me, the driver on the phone, probably talking to someone who cares about him about a business deal. I think: It's time to undo all the pain and regrets. Kyle, I'm coming. I'm coming over to find you again. Something heavy slams into my side, and as my world fades to black, I hear screams, no! that sounds like Ashlye. I'm smiling, thinking about Kyle, knowing that I'm paying him back, doing something I've been owing him for too long a time. It's too late for anyone to do anything. It's too late, I'm gone now, and no one can stop me, stop me from leaving. No one's going to miss me, not Andrea, not Amanda, not my dad. I never really mattered to them anyway, never did and never will . I smile, slightly bitterly, but relieved at the same time.

It's ending the way it was supposed to.