Car Insurance (Kleinsen) [DISCONTINUED]

2-Jared

Oh hey, you're back. well its gonna get more angsty. way more angsty :D

Tw: self harm (and I oop-) and mentions of bulimia

I walk to the cafeteria, but not to eat. I do eat, but I always throw it up afterwards. I've always been self conscious about my weight, but the whole fight just set me over the edge. I usually just go to the cafeteria to do stuff on my computer. I'm majoring in Computer Science (is that a thing? sorry im just a middle schooler idk how tf college majors work) and the constant buzz from the cafeteria really helps me focus. It reminds me of when I would code during lunch in high school. And how I would occasionally glance at Evan from across the room- I mean, how I got to watch random fights happen out of nowhere.

After an hour of doing some weird edits for reddit (haha wow that rhymed) I pack up my laptop and remember I still have to pack for winter break. I'm heading back home for the month, and I'm really hoping that I don't see Evan. But there's a part of me that wants to see him. I miss his adorable face, and the way he would rant about trees, or nature. And how he would cuss, even though he was always depicted as the 'innocent one'. But he hung out with me, so how would he be innocent?

Anyyyyway, enough thinking about my crush that I haven't seen in a year. I head back to my dorm and start packing my stuff. But of course, my mind goes back to thinking about Evan. It always does. 

What if I see him? What he doesn't want to see me? Does he still think that I only talked to him for car insurance?  I can already feel tears threatening to leave my eyes. He thinks I'm an asshole. He never thought of me as a friend. And to think that I hoped he would someday like me as more then that (help goofy goober rock just came on my playlist-). 

!!TW START!!

I walk to the bathroom, and remember that Michael won't be back until later tonight. I grab my razor and roll up my sleeves. My arms are already covered in scars, and I manage to find an empty spot that hasn't been cut.

I cut, thinking about how Evan would never want to hang out with me again, how he would never love me. I cut until I go numb. I sob harder and harder, louder and louder. After about 5 minutes of straight crying, I finally calm down.

I get up and put some bandages on my cuts and clean up the bathroom and hide my razor.

!!TW END!!

I sit on my bed, and watch meme compilations until 4 am, when I finally fall asleep. Michael must've stayed over at Jeremy's dorm.  (( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) I leave for winter break tomorrow and to be honest, I'm scared.

haha yay. i promise evan is going to come soon!

anyways, hope you enjoyed I guess

btw Michael and Jeremy did a fucc 

no im not going to write smut

See ya later

-jhvhgdyfduhgjhvxt :P