I want you 💛💙 [Meariri]

Chapter 8: Denying

Ririka's POV

I sat down. I was at the room that Mary and I spent our days planning or sometimes just hanging out.

I've been rather confused lately. I'm unsure of my feelings towards Mary.

Do I really like her?

I've been denying it for the past few days, my feelings are just simply admiration, that's what I kept saying to myself.

Besides, I can't fall for her. Once this election ends, I'll no longer need to be by her side, meaning if I do like her, it'll just break me, leave me heart broken, it'll just hurt.

It's better for me to deny these feelings.

It's for the better.

I sigh. I'm really stressed, things have been been hectic lately. I mean just literally yesterday, Mary had cried in-front of me.

Tsuzura, her friend was a housepet and according to my research about her. They've been planning to end that system, but it seems that an incident happened that caused Tsuzura to drop out of the school.

And I guess that really broke Mary since she doesn't really like bringing it up anymore.

Mary was actually quite popular during her first year at Hykkaou.When she first entered the school, she was really determined and really kind to everyone.

But ever since the incident, she changed. She's no longer the same person from before. I understand her reasoning for it though, if I were to lose someone close to me, I would be heartbroken and I wouldn't be myself as well.

But right now, because of this election she's slowly becoming her true self once again. She's determined to win this.

I don't why, but I'm a bit envious...

I want someone like Mary. Why can't someone care for me like the way she cares for Tsuzura.

"I want someone like her..."

"Huh? Like who?" Did I just say that out loud! "Who is this someone~" she smirks "You have a crush, no? Who would've thought that someone like you—"

"No! It's not like that!" Mary smirks. "What is it then hmm?"

"Um...I just want someone to...to-Oh! I want someone who can give us an idea on what to do f-for this election!" I blush "Yeah..that's what I want." I look away embarrassed.

"Well first of all, I know you're lying. I won't force you to say it, but honestly I really want someone like that too." She says then smiles.

"I really want to win this." Her eyes were filled with determination as she says this.

"But to be honest, your whole speech yesterday made me realize that it doesn't really matter if I win or lose right?" I only nod.

"...But of course, It'll be better if I win..." she says the last part lowly, I giggle.

"Y-Yeah..winning would be nice I guess." She stares at me as if realizing something. Then she frowns.

"You alright?" I ask.

"Yeah,it's nothing really...I'm fine." I decide not to push it further.

"How about you?"

"Huh?" I look over to her. I didn't really know what she meant by that.

"How have you been?"

If I'm being honest, I'm not actually doing good. I'm really troubled. Hanging out with Mary...has made me think about a lot of things.

One. What do I want? Mary's question from day one still bothers me. I know I said that I want someone like Mary, but is that really true? Am I being true to myself?

And second, I need to figure out my feelings for her. I've never felt this way before and it annoys me cause I can't understand it.

Was Kirari right?

Did I really fall for Mary?

I look at her, she's still waiting for an answer. I sigh. "I'm f-fine." She continues to stare at me. It's making me quite anxious.

"There's no use lying, I can read you like a open book, so tell me, are you alright?" I gulp, Why is she so determined to know?

"R-really, I'm fine..." I hear her sigh. She stands up in front of me.

"Tell me the truth."

"It's nothing." I try and avoid her glare. Eye contact has never been my thing.

"Come on, now you're just making it blatantly obvious, you can't even say that to my face." I bite my lip.

"...Are you still bothered by it?" I raise my brows.

"Bothered by what exactly?"

"Are you still thinking about that stupid question?"

I look at her confused, does she know? She sighs.

"What do you want Ririka? Have you figured it out yet?"

"Well..."

"I guess not." She looks at her watch "Alright, I better be going now, seeing as there's nothing to do here. " She backs away and heads towards the door. Why is she leaving all of a sudden? Classes aren't starting yet.

"Wait!" I say rather loudly. I didn't mean to raise my voice. I hear her snicker, she turns around and faces me

"Yes Ririka~" I gulp.

"I'll tell you what I want."

"Go On then. Speak." She says.

"I-I...um...I want..." I look down and shake me head. Why does she even want to know this? I've still got no answer too.

"Hmm? Still nothing?" She was about to leave once again, but I stood up and stopped her, grabbing her wrists,blushing. I don't know why, but I didn't want her to leave just yet.

"Yes~?" She faces me. "I need to be honest, I don't really know." She frowns and I close my eyes. I'm such a failure, can't even answer that simple question.

I feel her let go of my hand. I expected her to leave, but I was mistaken because I soon felt soft arms wrapped around me.

"You look like you need a good hug." She whispers.

"And don't worry, I'll help you." I hear her soft voice. "Its just that I'm irritated. It really annoys me how you can't answer that question and I wanna know why." I feel the heat rise up to my face.

"I won't stop asking you until you've got an answer and I'll help you find it." My heart starts to beat faster.

"Really though...don't you just feel like doing your own thing, you know, being yourself?"

"Well yeah, I've felt like that before, but why would I ever do that? I follow because they're all above me. They're all better than me. It's better for me to just stay behind."

"Ririka, How is that better!" She sighs. "I just want to help you."

"Help me?" I see her nod.

"I don't like seeing you that way. It's obvious you don't enjoy that. I wanna help you. That's all."

My heart flutters a bit. She actually cares for me. I never had someone like that before.

"Maybe being my own person would be nice. I would like that." She smiles "Yeah see, you do want something!" I laugh.

...yeah...but now, theres something else I want...

"T-thank you, thank you so much." I lay my head on her shoulder and wrap my arms around her as well.

Maybe Kirari was right.

There's no denying it this time.
Mary Saotome.
I want you.

A/n: ayyy ＼( ・∇・)／uploaded 3 chapters today!