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Two Months and Two Weeks Ago

Dale has not stopped crying. It's been a week, and he just wouldn't stop crying for his mother, and honestly, I couldn't blame him. I miss her too. She'd know what to do. She'd know how to get him to stop crying, how to get me to calm down, she'd know how to fix everything. 

"Shhh... Dale... please stop crying." I whispered, choking on my own sobs while I rocked the screaming baby in my arms. 

"Are... are you okay Daryl?" A voice whispered from behind me, and I spun around, panicking at the fact that someone had actually caught me crying. It was Carol, she was standing there, staring at me, and I instantly felt bad, because if this woman, the one who slept through my screaming match with Merle yesterday, was awake, then everyone was. And it's our fault. 

"Yeah. We're fine. Sorry." I snapped, turning away form her. She'd been hanging around since Riley went into her coma, and it'd been pissing me off. Merle said I should just be rude to her, that'd she leave. But she hadn't yet. And I don't know if I should be impressed or pissed. 

"Okay, well you don't seem okay." Carol said softly, and when her hand touched the small of my back, I freaked, jerking away from her before I finally turned to look at her. 

"Do not! Touch me!" I roared, and Dale started screaming again. I rolled my eyes, and tried to calm him down again, but it didn't seem to be working. 

"I'm sorry. But Daryl you need to calm down. Babies sense distress. And your distress is causing him stress. Calm down." She said, moving forward again to try and touch me, and I freaked out again, backing away from her reaching hands. 

"Do not touch me!" I roared, and she froze, crossed her hands, and stared at the ground. 

"Look, I know you love her. But she's not here right now. I've never been good at much. But I was a good mom. Let me take care of Dale until she wakes up. He needs a mom. Let me step in. And you need a break. Let me take him. Go out and hunt. Do something to distract yourself. Try and calm down." She wasn't trying to touch me anymore, and when I looked away from her I noticed that there were a lot of our people watching us from the door into the cells, and it snapped me back into focus. I can't lose my shit here. Not in front of everyone. 

"Fine. If anything happens to him, I will kill you." I growled, handing Dale over to her, and then I spun around, grabbed my crossbow, and practically ran out the door.

Four Days Later

It was my night to do watch. Dale was with Carol, honestly I hadn't seen him since she talked me down that day. She'd been doing a fine job looking after him, so I had been spending my time doing anything I possibly could to distract myself. Hunting, clearing out the boiler room again, finding the hole so we could patch it up, and sitting with Riley. 

But tonight was my night. My night for watch, and it was almost midnight and nothing had happened. Merle would be coming to replace me at three, and maybe I'd have time to go get Dale and see Riley before everyone woke up. 

Suddenly, there were soft steps coming up the stairs. I spun around, aiming at whatever was coming up the steps, and froze when Carol's face peeked up above the steps. 

"What's going on? Is Dale okay?" I asked, panicking since I didn't see my son with her. Wait...

"Is Riley awake?" I asked, jumping up so that I could run down the steps if she said yes. 

"No. She wiggled her nose during Hershel's check. But she didn't wake up or make any other signs of consciousness. Hershel said that... due to her not waking up yet, it could be a long time, if she ever wakes up. I thought... I thought you'd rather hear it in private than in front of everyone." I couldn't stand up anymore. I felt my legs collapse beneath me, my knees hit the metal floor hard, jarring my entire body, but I couldn't focus on it. 

She might not wake up. 

What do I do? What do I do without her? What will Dale do without his mom? We had... we had a future. We were gonna have more kids. We were gonna get our own place once this whole... bullshit world calmed down. When the group was settled. We were... we were in love. And now she could never wake up. 

"Daryl! Daryl! Can you hear me? Are you okay?" Her voice came buzzing back to the surface, and when I looked up at her, all I could see was that this wasn't my wife. But my wife... I may never see her eyes again. I may never hear her voice. 

This woman... this woman who has been caring for my son, she may be the only choice for a mother he ever has. I have to give my son a mother. I didn't have one for most of my childhood, and I was screwed up. My son can't be screwed up. Not any more than this world will already screw him up. 

He needs a mother. 

I need her to... to be his mother. No matter how sick that makes me. 

So... I lunged towards her, pulling her face towards mine, and I forced myself to put my lips on her willing ones. They aren't my wife's. 

Pull away Daryl. 

Pull away!

I can't. I have to. For Dale. 

She pulled away slightly, breathing hard. 

"What... what are you doing Daryl?" 

"Please... please... I need..." I couldn't finish. I knew if I said that I needed her to be Dale's mother, she would get offended and leave him. But I didn't need to finish. She inferred what she needed to. And three hours later, after a grueling, forced round of sex, I couldn't even pretend to be mad when Merle came up and caught us. 

I couldn't be angry when he screamed at me, holding Dale in his arms. 

I deserved it. 

But Dale deserves a mother. And if Riley isn't going to wake up, then I'll be damned if I don't do everything I can to get him a mother. 

A/N: Please don't hate me.