You See What You Want To See

Feral

The next time Anti woke up it had been almost a week after Actor's cult trap. The morning after his first night back in his old room. The bruises he suffered were already healing but the stab wounds and broken bones would take a while longer. Henrik said it'd probably take a month. Until then, he was stuck. Not that he really had anything to complain about.

This was what he wanted, right? To be back home? But at what cost? Now they all know the secret that he forced Sean to keep for so long. They all pitied him. He could practically just FEEL the empathy radiating off of them and it was disgusting!

'I don't care if they know, but. . . ' Anti ground his teeth uncomfortably, 'Now they'll think. . . they'll think I'm weak. I'm not weak.'

Now that Anti was off the morphine Henrik had been giving him, he could think more clearly. But that wasn't exactly better for anyone. His thoughts dragged to how his belongings were there, 'Jackie and Marvin' he thought, 'Hope they weren't snooping around too much. Where's my pocket knife? They didn't find my knives, did they? No, Jackie would have said something, right? Puke out more of his pity.'

Anti swallowed but instead of worrying about it, he thought about something else, 'Dark hasn't tried contacting me since. But why would he? Why would I want him to? He betrayed me. But he was my friend, wasn't he? No, a friend wouldn't abandon someone in crisis. Then again, does that just mean I wasn't worth it to him?'

He tried thinking of something else.

'Chase was almost as unsettling as Actor yesterday. I hadn't seen him that angry since the drive-by. Thought he was going to hit me'

He shook his head, 'Actor's still alive out there. Probably gathering even more cult members. I imagine he'll be after me eventually for messing up his face'

Everything he could think about was just either depressing or nearly scary. He didn't want to think about it anymore. About anything!

"Fuck it all! Why!?" Anti shouted to himself and gripped his hair with his hands, nails dragging into his scalp. He started glitching until his eyes found the TV. The TV JJ brought in for him.

His glitching ceased slowly as he reached to turn it on. There was just static but he didn't care. He suddenly glitched through and came out from another TV. Anti looked around to see that he was in the living room. He had perfectly launched himself to the couch in front of the TV . . . . . completely on purpose.

But before he could smirk at his accomplishment, he felt something glaring at him.

Turning slightly, he noticed Henrik standing at the kitchen entrance leaning against the wall. He was sipping his coffee, hiding his scowl under the cup.

"D-doc" Anti could tell the doctor was upset with him.

"You didn't even calculate that 'launch' did you?"

"Uh"

"Thought not. Next time just be careful, yeah? I don't want to have to redo your stitching. Doubt you vant that either. And be careful vith your head."

Anti pouted a little by rolling his eyes dramatically, "Oh calm your nips, doc. I'm fine. Nothing bad happened"

"Yet. And keep your foot elevated!" Henrik walked back into the kitchen to prepare himself another cup of the delicious dirty bean water.

Leaning his back against the couch cushions with his foot up, Anti took this time to turn on the TV and flip through the channels but he wasn't really paying much attention to want was on. He stayed on a channel but pretty much zoned it out.