You See What You Want To See

Passing the Blame

Trigger warning: Torture in this chapter. It is labeled as you read on and labeled when it ends

Anti hadn't spoken to anyone for a while. Two weeks. He refused to speak to Henrik or even JJ. He absolutely didn't even LOOK at Jackie, Sean or Chase. He couldn't.

After his episode of slicing off his stitches again, Henrik decided it would be best to contain him, unfortunately. They couldn't have him trying to kill himself or causing an infection in his wounds. His wounds needed to heal.

After that incident, Sean had to leave. He said he couldn't bare seeing what Anti had done to himself but Anti knew the truth. He was disgusted with him. Angry? Maybe.

Anti was in a straight jacket laying on a bed in Henrik's office. They were back to square one but at least his wounds were actually healing this time.

Jackie tried desperately to talk to him but it was no use. Not even when Jackie broke down in tears. Anti didn't trust him anymore. He didn't trust anyone.

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"Here, let's have a look at you, yeah?" Henrik partially undid the straight jacket to check on Anti's stab wounds.

"They look good. I think we can finally take this thing off now. That is. . . if you promise not to bring yourself more harm?"

Anti didn't speak still but nodded, making him see that he understood. He wanted the damn jacket off.

"Promise me, Anti. I need you to say it, friend"

Anti snarled at the word, glaring at him but finally relented, "I promise" he grunted out.

His voice was very hoarse from not using it so Henrik gave him a glass of water, holding it for him to drink out of, "You should talk more else you'll end up mute." the doctor started to remove the straight jacket.

It was the worst part of being contained like this. For the past two weeks, Henrik had to feed him and give him water. He even helped him in the bathroom. Anti had to fucking rely on someone else for basic needs. Not that he hated Henrik for it. It was his job, after all. Anti trusted Henrik that way.

It was silent for a few moments before Henrik spoke again, "I know I've already asked this a million times but. . . . Do you really hate me for doing this? You know I had to, Anti. I-"

"Whatever" Anti pulled himself free of the jacket, his arm doing better as well, no longer broken and all the signs of bruising had gone. His leg, however, still had a bit more healing to do so Henrik kept the boot-cast on.

Henrik sighed, "You're free to go, Anti. Just don't do anything too brash, alright? I don't vant to see you in here again for a while."

Anti was merely stretching himself out, rolling his arms and shoulders, "Whatever."

He walked out without another word, glitching through the nearby digital clock to his bedroom.

Anti stepped into his bathroom in front of the mirror and took off his shirt to examine himself. He really did look better. There were some scars now but he could live with that. He had plenty already.

'I need a fucking bath' he thought to himself. He hadn't had a proper bath or shower since his arrival there. Only sponge baths and his body could only put up with so much of that before he felt too gross.

After stripping his clothes off and being careful of his foot, he got into the tub of hot water. Immediately he relaxed and started cleaning himself. He was rinsing his hair, dunking his head under the water to wash the soap out. When he came up, he wiped the water and wet hair from his eyes. He looked over to the other side of the room to see a razor sitting on his sink counter.