Switch (crossmare)

A new beginning

I woke up to a pounding in my skull, I never slept well, maybe cause of my name? I slowly sat up, looking around my surroundings. My new room was very dark, it had one window, but the window was covered by a thick, dark red velvet curtain. The whole room was a grey color with wooden floors, that were a smooth cool brown and were always clean. Which is odd, since so far as I'm aware, Cross doesn't have maids. Did I mention I'm in a castle? That's right, Cross is royalty of sorts with a massive castle that seemed to be older than anyone that lives in it. Cross doesn't like talking about the past of this castle or his past at all, kinda bothers me. I was his advisor, or that's what he calls me, I help him with battle plans against our enemies the star sanses and Ink. I was told Ink was possessed by someone named Xgaster and planned to 'correct' the mistakes of the universe to make it perfect. Cross says he really has no reason to fight the star sanses, his main focus was the gaster inside Ink. So I help him find ways to get away from the star sanses and ambush Ink. Which worked at one point till Ink figured us out and flat out vanished. Which in truth made us all grouchy, we now had to think hard on where he could be, it really bothered Error. I slowly got up out the most comfortable bed I ever laid in and stretched. My sheets were white but the comforter was dark red, blood red. I think the guy has a theme, death and blood, which surprisingly doesn't bother me. I enjoyed the darkness of this castle, it was almost awe worthy the way it was built and the decor was massive and very unique but seemed to match the colors. I was given my own new clothes, I could switch between my old clothes I came here in, or this purple hoodie with little moons all over it along with long black pants that were very comfy to lounge in. I was surprised when Error handed this outfit to me, he said I needed more than one outfit and that the other outfit probably needed to be washed. I mean he was right but....why did he care? Cross told me later on that day he makes things like clothes, dolls, etc and was pissy over my outfit, saying I needed something other than the clothes that I have worn over and over, Cross also said it helps him focus on something other than Ink. Apparently, Error is a bit of a momma bird for some reason about the team. I honestly never wore this in front of Cross, I was scared to look smaller than I already am, due to the hoodie being baggy, and the sleeves came over my hands easily. After getting dressed, I opened the door and looked left and right. I wanted to not wake anyone up, I knew I woke up earlier than everyone else...except Cross. Cross seemed to never sleep, he always was up either in his throne room or office, however neither was my destination. It was that amazing library, I tiptoed all the way down the hall and then as quietly as I could rush down the stairs toward the main hall. As I began to get closer I sped up, trying my best to keep quiet as I finally reached the well made wooden door to the library. As I opened the door, I snuck in, closing it gently behind me like a robber in the night. I was reading a book called 'Merlin" and I was almost through it was keeping me awake at night to know the end so I snuck up here in the mornings to read before the morning came. As I grabbed the book from its place on the shelf and went to sit in my normal spot I froze when I saw a figure in the chair that was turned to the wall with a massive fireplace. The fire was dancing as always but usually no one was in here, I slowly approached them, ready to attack if necessary before I heard a familiar chuckle from the chair. "You are up quite early, and sneaking around might I add"
Oh no
It's cross
Cross turns in the chair to look at me with his piercing mismatched eyes. They seemed to glow in the dim light, they were almost....beautiful. I felt a blush of embarrassment come onto my face as I realized I was caught.
"I-i um" I didn't wanna admit it was cause I was having a childish need to finish a book, as the book was being pressed into my chest and I hugged it to me. "Hmmm?" He looked at me with an amused expression as I stuttered an answer, then he spotted the book that I had pressed into me still, clinging to it. "Oh I get it" he laughed then , holding up his hand he gestured for me to come closer. I slowly shuffled my way to him, my soul pounding in my chest.  He was watching me with eyes like a predator, a wolf on a deer, shark in water and I was the seal. As soon as I got close enough I felt something wrap around my waist and yank me into the air. Oh god no! He's gonna kill me! Before I could get a word out I found myself sitting and his face so close to mine I could see the faint scarring under his white eye and the details of the slime on his bones.
Oh
My
I'm in his lap.
I feel myself blush a lot darker, already been blushing to begin with but now I knew he could see my face turn from bone white to violet. He was humming still and rubbed his hand up and down my back as I was seated in his lap. He slowly reached out and took the book from my hands, with no protest from me might I add sonce I was still in a shock. "Ah...Merlin" he mumbled as if he was expecting that to be the book in my hands. "You could've asked me if you wanted to take it with you to your room" he said in his unusual low voice, his breath hot against my face. "I...didn't wanna admit I was into this childish story" I admitted in a whisper, looking at my legs, instantly reminded I'm in his lap. I felt his finger come under my chin and lift my face up to look once again into those beautiful mismatched eyes. He seemed to be debating something as he focused on me, making me more and more nervous. "I like that you are childish in a way, you used to be a prince so I'm sure being childish wasn't allowed" he said, his hand still rubbing my back in random, gentle movements. I was startled by him knowing this information, I never told anyone I was a past prince! How did he know?! "How..." I looked at him so confused, my expression must have been funny cause he chuckled. "Error is a god of this mutiverse nothing escapes him, he told me of your old world and your role in it" As Cross spoke, I felt his hand come up my back and to my skull, now rubbing small patterns into my skull, I felt woozy all of the sudden. I couldn't stop myself, I laid my head on his shoulder, hiding my face into his scarf. "And I know about your terrible sleeping problems" Cross whispered making me tense, I never told anyone not even Dream, Dream only now knew of it cause he is a ghost attached to me. "He...he...knows about that?" I asked thickly, swallowing the lump coming up in my throat. "Your mother didn't treat you kindly" Cross said darkly, suddenly I was pressed more into Cross as he pushed me into him. I felt tears prick my eyes, I never told anyone about my mother and I, what she did to me, I hated her. I didn't realize I was shaking till I heard Cross trying to soothe me, "shh shh Nightmare calm down, your safe, I'll protect you shhh" as he did this all I could think of was why, did he pity me? Was this why he was always kinder to me than the others?! Why he isn't going to make fun of me or punish me for being in here without his permission?! I gripped his shirt and sat up, tears in my eyes as I angrily hissed at him "is that why I'm only your adviser?! Is that why you saved me?! Is that why you treat me like I'm worth anything?! I'm more than just some broken boy! I am a 500 year old god! A prince! I was a prince! I could do things! I may have been hated I may have been scorned! And shamed!" I suddenly tore off my hoodie revealing my upper half in a rage showing every scar my mother and others left on me through the years of torture for being the 'dark-sided fruitling' "I may be scarred and bruised, my world may be gone, but I WILL NOT BE PITIED!" I couldn't breathe right anymore I was in so much pain now due to too much emotion, I couldn't even look at him anymore as I gripped his shirt tightly and hung my head. I felt the grief rake through me as I felt Dreams presence now, I now understood why I was so emotional I could feel Dreams pain too. "She...she did this to you...?" I heard Dream sob behind me, making me jump from the horror in his voice, I was about to move and look at him before I heard Cross speak. "Nightmare" I was moved again, now  facing toward Cross in his lap the inner part of my legs pressed against the outside of his. He gripped my face with both hands making me look into his eyes, those eyes seemed to be swirling as magic danced in his red pupil, his white was almost sparkling due to the soft light the fire provided. "I do not pity you, I value you. I wasn't aware of you before I found you, Error asked me if I knew you after you arrived here and I told him no, so he told me all of it. I never made you advisor out of pity, you always seem to just know how to...handle me, you guide me in ways no one else has, even Error has never been able to help me plan out a attack that ended in a successful ambush!" A small laugh came from Cross then before he continued "you just fascinate me, your entire being has me on the edge of my seat wanting to learn more of you, your expressiveness always entices me" Cross loosened his grip on my face as his thumbs wiped my tears only making me spill more. "I have never been so intrigued in my life...until you" Cross was now looking at my bare bones, seeing every scar and broken edges on my ribs and my spine. My mother tried to break me, cause me and my brother were bonded by a god like power, if Dream dies I die, and vice versa. Dream wouldn't share my injuries but death would occur if I would have died my mom thought I was causing this bond on my own and could beat it out of me, so hearing Cross talk so highly of me and the team of his treating me so nicely was...new, and I guess the bond was broken when my world was destroyed cause Dream is technically dead and I'm...not. "I'm not special Cross" I mumbled, finally getting my breathing to even out. "You are to me my whisper in the dark, I've watched you everyday, you always are so collected, standing tall with the world against you. You have always got some emotion in your face, it's entertaining really...especially when your reading" Cross continued to speak as a blush once again, for the millionth time today came onto my face. "You watched me...read?" I asked quietly, slightly on edge knowing my private moments weren't private at all. "Yes...just like you watch me play" Cross smirked this time, my whole body went ridged. Oh shit, he knew I watched him play his flute..
Okay I guess it's fair he watched me read now. I hung my head again only to have it pulled gently back up as if he didn't want to loose eye contact with me at all. "You are just as much intrigued to me as I am you" Cross leaned forward and light as a feather brushed his teeth against my collarbone, snuggling into me as his hand was still on my face as the other hand moved it's way to my ribs and ever so gently glided its self over my battered  body. I was intrigued, I couldn't deny it, ever since day one I wanted to learn more and more about him, I followed him, spoke to him, watched him, asked about him. I never thought he was just as..as...into me as I was him. My soul fluttered when he was close, my entire being would feel woozy when he would just slightly touch me. He made me feel...well...wanted. I felt brave as I moved my hands to his chest and moved them up, feeling his body from under the thick clothes he wore. He leaned back and looked in my eyes once again, seeming as interested in my eyes as I was his. Before anything else could be done, I felt something soft hit me. Cross was holding my hoodie to me, and I greedily took it, remembering now that I'm bare boned. I slip back on the hoodie, as I was doing so Cross was holding my-er..his book in front of me. "Let me read you the rest of this book, maybe you can sleep" Cross was so gentle and kind, even if others thought of him as a blood hungry animal, I'll always be the one to know this side of him. The side who was peaceful and just, sweet and calm, considerate and selfless.
This was the real Cross.
And I found myself falling desperately for him.