Broken ~ A Matthew Espinosa Fanfic

Chapter 1

I lie awake in my bed, thinking of every possible scenario that could happen tomorrow.

I hated being the new kid, especially in high school. It brought down my self esteem like It was a boulder sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Why did I have to move so many times? I just wanted to stay in one place and be able to have friends that I don't have to leave in three years. Sure, sometimes I really hate the people I'm around. And, yes, sometimes I need a break, but they are still my best friends and I cave in at the thought of me not being able to see them, like someone scooped out a giant part of me and i just have to sit there and live with it. I always get the stupid sympathy comments, ones like "Don't worry, everything is going to be ok, Lilly" or "It's ok, Lilly, California will be great! You'll be fine! Just be yourself".

Don't people understand that maybe your so-called sympathy comments just make me feel worse? I am here, feeling completely confident, then you have to go on and me me doubt myself. Like, honestly! I am really trying to be myself here, and you telling me that everything is going to be ok really just makes me feel like everything is going to go downhill.

I stand up and attempt to make my way over to the light switch. I hold my hands out, making my way aimlessly around the room, unable to see by the lack of light. Completely absorbed in my thoughts, I forget about the desk that sits right next to the light switch. Not focused, I slam my foot into the leg of the wooden desk.

"Dammit" I whisper in pain, being careful not to wake my parents. I press my hands against the wall, and my room is illuminated with the dim glow my lamp provides.