「Chapter Five」

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The room was large, cold, and empty, giving me a spine-shivering feeling of isolation.

I stood alone, my saber in hand impatiently awaiting Ren's arrival. I look around, the pitch black void, and my thoughts overcome me—my childhood, those days when i'd starve, those harsh desert storms. The people were cruel, the dry environment unforgiving, but those days of struggle taught me strength.

I survived to this day because I didn't give up. Sometimes I look to where I am now, how grateful I am for my saviors. But I ponder, are the lives taken by the First Order worth the sacrifice for me to live comfortably? I've been to war, I've been the head of a campaign... I've seen their eyes, how terrified they were... Is this right? Am I making the right move? Why now do I begin to question everything? I was so content before... why now...

My attention averts to Kylo as he makes a bold entrance. Im able to feel his mysterious and dark aura as he comes closer. I bowed my head to him, holding my arms tightly to my side.

Training was difficult at first. Rather than dueling or giving speeches, he had me sit on my knees, eyes closed, and focusing for hours.

I was bemused, but I wasn't sure what it was I was to focus on. "You'll soon find out." He'd assure me.

He was a lot kinder than I had expected, patient and sometimes sweet. I peaked my eyes open to him, as he rested aside me as I did. "Close your eyes." He said softly, knowing even without perceiving me.

I smiled, adjusting myself accordingly and relaxing my body, allowing the tension to flow off, easing my mind. After some time, however, I felt something strange. Familiar, but indescribable. It was like floating atop a large pool of water, moving with each easy ripple. I grew cold, and thats when I began to see it.

"What do you see?" He questions me.

"I see an energy. A spring of life and peace, but sacrifice, and I see death and decay, pain but also freedom." I reply, images flashing through my mind as I concentrate.

"Good—"

"But there's something else." I add. "A balance, serenity carrying both life and death. It's gray." I began to sweat, I could feel straining in my mind and body the longer I focused on these images. "Life, and death, and life again..."

I open my eyes and release the tension, staring at the floor with my mouth slightly agape, and look over to Ren as his dark eyes stare back, that cold glare having warmed up, softened, even.

"I see." He simply says. "That is all for today." He finally speaks, standing to his feet. "I expect to see you tomorrow." He finally says, heading for the exit, leaving me alone.

Meanwhile, I stay on the floor for a moment longer, trying to recollect myself. I had finally grasped a better understanding of what the force was, and I was excited to discover more.

The next week I would have been disappointed to see my next step of training wasn't with the lightsaber, but truthfully I am learning more than I ever knew and realized the force is more than just swinging around a laser sword.

The next day as I arrive at the designated hour, I find an officer stood in the middle of the chamber, his posture perfect and arms crossed behind his back. I looked to him with confusion, then around to see if Ren were watching, but I couldn't spot him. I approached the officer and circled around him, then stopping across from him, pondering my mind as to what he could be doing here. But suddenly, I felt a cold shiver down my spine just a split second before I heard Ren's distorted voice echo in my ear, shaking me to my core. I nearly jumped out of my skin, having not even sensed his presence as he was standing only inches behind me.

"You managed to hide your presence from me while you watched me from the shadows. It's impressive, but you've only just scraped the surface of your powers." He says as he begins to circle around the officer and I, eventually standing behind the man and facing me.

Ren placed his hand onto the officer shoulder, the sound of his stretching leather gloves audible as he gripped tighter. "I want you to penetrate his mind. Tell me what he is thinking. Find his fears."

I looked to the officer, scanning to see if there were any expression that suggested he didn't consent to this, but he looked unphased. So, I nodded my head and closed my eyes, standing across from the officer where I extended my minds reach, hoping to see inside this man's head.

It took an hour, maybe more. At first I could only hear echoed thoughts that could hardly be deciphered. Ren would occasionally stand behind me, comfort me with reassurance. "Just focus, I know you can do it." He'd say. "You're so close, you're doing well."

His words of encouragement excited me, this was exactly what I dreamt of over these past 3 years. I began to smile, getting too distracted.

"Rhaella." His voice called commandingly. "Focus." He finally said, perhaps getting impatient.

Given my absolute desire to impress him, I focused harder, straining myself to do as he had commanded, and finally, I reached the mans mind barrier.

"He is brave." I began to speak, seeing the officers recent past. "He is not afraid to make hard choices.... not anymore, at least." My brows furrowed as I got a deeper look, sweat soaking my hairline. "He chose to leave his family behind for the First Order, his sick father, wife, and son... That was the last time he ever felt true pain. It was his worst fear, and he made the sacrifice." I let go, backing away and slowly opening my eyes to look into the officers. Even bringing back his painful past, I got no reaction.

This is what the First Order did to him.

"He's one of our finest." Kylo replies, giving a pat to the man's back. I watch as he exits the chambers, leaving just Ren and I. "Your power—" he begins "this is only the beginning. You can become the most powerful woman in the galaxy, all by my training."

I nod my head. "Will I ever get to meet Lord Snoke?" I question in reply. Ren tilts his head, as if to be surprised at the question and considering an offer.

"Tomorrow." He simply states, and walks past, leaving me alone.

I clutched my balled hands to my chest tightly, thinking back to the officers memories. I could see, and feel them plain as day. It hurt me, the lingering pain that man felt was stuck in me as if to be my own. How does Ren expect me to continue on like nothing happened?

That pain, it was worse than war.

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