Star Wars: Lust For Power // Kylo Ren

「Chapter Twelve」

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I was too young when I began to feel the call to the dark side. Only a young boy, and already tormented by something I didn't understand.

"You're special, Ben." My mother would say to me. I never believed her, until Snoke. He was my only friend, my only true master. He told me that what Luke was teaching me would only take me so far, that I'd never feel true power or strength under his wing.

So Snoke offered to teach me, and I accepted. I ranked up faster than the other padawans Luke taught thanks to Snoke's teachings, I easily overpowered them all.

Snoke said Luke was jealous, that he knew I'd become more powerful than him, so he tried to kill me. I believed him. And I thought I killed Luke, finally killing the last jedi, but I was wrong. He was alive and in hiding after Snoke burned down his temple, killing all the padawans inside.

My mother and father thought it to be done by my hand, and Snoke convinced me that they hated me for it. I killed my father for this, thinking it would help me fully emerge into the dark side, but soon I found he'd lied. My mother desperately called to me, and my father blamed himself, wanting nothing more than his family back.

This only angered me more. Snoke lied, and I was determined to kill him. But then, she arrived. I noticed her the first time I'd seen her, all those years ago on that desert planet that I stole her from. But I never knew who she was until Snoke told me of her years after she joined the First Order. He promised me power by her side, and that together her and I would rule the galaxy.

I soon took her in, guided her in the ways of the force, taught her everything I knew. But I wasn't cruel to her, like Snoke was to me. I never lied to her, or struck her when she'd make a mistake. And over time, I found that I had fallen in love with her. All I could think about was her smile, her voice, how often she'd cry. It ached me, I feared that she'd never feel the same, so I hid my true intentions.

But then, she left. She fled from the First Order and disappeared. I was confused, I felt lost and alone. Had I done something to hurt her? Scare her?

I continued to follow Snoke for a year. He told me that she had died, ending her own life because the power became too much for her. Guilt had driven me even further into the dark side. I felt a pain like no other, and I only blamed myself.

Until I finally saw her again. I thought it to only be my mind playing tricks on me, but her voice, it was so real, as if she were right next to me. She looked me right in the eye and smiled before vanishing.

At that moment, I knew she was alive. So I decided to flee as well, sneaking out just under Snoke's nose. I sought out Luke Skywalker. I needed his guidance, and his forgiveness. He was the only one who could help me now.

Soon, with the aid of the resistance, I found him, alone on an empty planet, hiding away on an island.

I was surprised. The first time he'd seen me since I was a boy, and he still looked at me the same as he did then. With love in his heart, even after all that I'd done.

I confessed to Luke everything. It was painful, reliving my past and mistakes, yet I felt relief when he smiled to me, letting me know it was okay. I even told him of Rhaella, telling him that I needed to find her. So, he began to train me once again, promising that with his guidance and my patience, I would soon be reunited with her.

For months I made up for lost time, rebuilding my relationship with my uncle. And when the time came, Luke had vanished. All I found were his robes, sitting atop a cliff that overlooked the ocean. When I touched them, I heard his words, encouraging me, telling me that I was ready.

As I watched the sunset, sitting upon the same cliff Luke had, a gentle breeze flowing through my hair, I suddenly began to hear a faint voice. I turned, seeing no one there. Confused, I looked back to the sunset, but I heard it again, this time more clear.

'Ben.'

It was her, Rhaella's voice. She sounded desperate, lost, and scared. Feeling my heart begin to race, I closed my eyes and eased my thoughts. As I fell into meditation, I began to see her, her long white hair, her hand reaching out to me. Then suddenly she was screaming, she was in torment. Her shrieks were unbearable, tearing me apart, and I unable to help, trapped behind an invisible wall. And soon, her screaming stopped, and her body collapsed.

Panicked that she had died, I began looking everywhere for a sign, and at some point I found one, an older woman's voice echoed, and I could see a tall statue, a familiar one.

She was on Dathomir. A dark sith planet. And I needed to find her. I took Luke's robes and his lightsaber, and left to save Rhaella.

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