Furore

35| Fall.

unedited.

35| Fall.

I was numb but I wanted to stay numb, it felt better than perceiving what was happening, what could happen, how I was meant to lose something in life, how it seemed inevitable but equally tragic and unbelievable. I was in pain, too much of pain. I deserved love, did not I?

"Mujhe shayad nahi farak padhe agar tum uske sath so..par tumhare dil par sirf mera naam hona chachiye." I spoke out of nowhere. I wanted him to assert it anyways. (Maybe I won't mind you having sex with her but only I should be in your heart.)

"Sirf tumhara he naam hai." (It only has your name.) He said as if it was the most easiest thing to confess, as if it was too obvious and I was stupid to even ask that.

I did not want to get out of the car as much as I wanted to rush inside and ask my parents to hear me out at least once. I needed their support like never before.

"I have ordered a phone for you, it'd be delivered by the afternoon. Hmm?" He informed me and I hummed still lost.

"You'll go home?" I was afraid. I wanted Madhia to stay away from him, I was scared of her now that I knew she loved him too and loved him to keep him her own. I feared if she would change his mind.

"No. I have a meeting to attend. Plus a lot of pending work." His reply relieved me.

"Have a good day." My eyes pooled with tears as I smiled at him. He hugged me. "Call me if you need me." He kissed my hair and I nodded.

I bumped into mumma the moment I entered into the house. The expressions on her face tore my heart, it blew my mind away. "Mumma." I whispered too afraid.

"Shut up Sithara and just leave. You are not the Sithara we raised." She pointed her finger out of the door.

"No, mumma. I have not done anything wrong, I promise mumma. I have not done anything you should be ashamed of, I promise nothing disrespectful." I had tears fall my eyes again.

"Disrespectful?" She mocked my reply. "You think you could do anything more disrespectful than choosing a filthy man who is only using you over your father? You have the guts to fall more?" She sighed heavily. "Do you have slightest of a clue what we went through after you ran with that man? What disgust we had to bear??"

"Mumma..I'm sorry. But I love him.."

"Sithara are you blind enough to not notice he is married??" She screamed at me.

"Mumma..no. You don't know..I have always loved him. Even before he was married." I cried and my answer shook her more.

"Just shut up Sithara..I can't believe this is you. I can't believe you could be this stupid."

"Mumma..no. He is ready to marry me. He asked me to marry him. He loves.." I had a tight slap on my cheek before I could complete. I was shocked, too embarrassed and lost. I never imagined her to hit me for this. I did not.

My tearful eyes desperately searched for my father's protest but he did not seem to care but looked down on the floor with indifference, shattering me completely. I couldn't help but sob out loud. I remembered the day my mother slapped me for the first time when I was a kid, he fought with her, he did not talk to her for a day and today he didn't even spare a glance at me. I felt breathless.