His New Infatuation◇Eli Stevenson

Chapter Ten

A/N And I am backkkk...i needed a break from writing a little bit there! Its great to be back 

Chapter Ten 

"Wait," her whisper as he ran down the road even though he drove there. Why does he always drive there when it was not to far away? He doesn't get it. Her whisper caught his attention though as he spun around and of course.....

 No one was there.

He ran his fingers through his hair. Damn he really needed a hair cut. Maybe if he got a hair cut more people would like him. Maybe he dyed his hair people would like him. Because Lord only knows he can't love himself.

Not after what he did. Most importantly...what he didn't do. He could have stopped it from happening. He was sure of it. If he stopped that night from happening he wouldn't have had this panic attack to run home and he would get a chance to get to know Madetlyn.

On an emotional level. A spiritual level...a physical level.

He wouldn't have to fight these forces he can't control. He wouldn't have to write about characters dying and he wouldn't have to bring everyone in with his bullshit by accident. Only by accident. People wouldn't understand him even if they tried. He was a guy that couldn't be tamed or bothered with and Elijah knew that.

"Come on," the whisper again and he knew she wasn't actually there.She wasn't. She was an illusion to his mind. Maybe fully. Her family didn't like him. They pitied him.

"You know that isn't true." it wasn't her whisper though. It was a man's. A boy's almost but it was a guy who was far past puberty. Then who could it be?

He knew who it was. He has already hurt himself far to much and he doesn't deserve this pain. He ran faster and faster until his homed came into view. The home that his dad left him. Well actually...

He took his keys out really quick and fumbled with them until he took the right one in grasp and slid it in the slot. He turned the lock and ran into the house slamming the door. He went straight to the office and stopped in the doorway. This haiku doesn't deserve to be written from this computer. It doesn't deserve to be written at all. It needs to go away.

"GO AWAY!!!" he shouted and almost collapsed at the door frame. He leaned on it and put his hand into his fist. He held it tightly then let it go. He held it harder and then let it go. His heart went from thumping loud to a soft upbeat.

He looked at his chair in front of the desk and then slowly walked to it. He looked at it as if he hadn't seen it for weeks. Because in this light and in this mentality it looks different. The mode is there but it is different.

His licked his lips and they were chapped. He was craving a good glass of Chardonnay right now. A cold one that brought the ease back just a little.

He went to the chair and sat in it. He fired up the desktop and the light came into life as if saying "Welcome back, Eli. Welcome back to your own hell and heaven at the same place".

He went into the app and then started typing. He didn't stop until he knew he was finish. He wish he was the regular stereotypical writer. By the end of the night his glasses on top of the keyboard and him sitting back slightly in the chair admiring his work. A job well done. But he wasn't such a writer.

"His soul was searching but died anyway, what remained was a a monster that he himself couldn't contain. A monster that screamed in his head yet never begged or pleaded to come out. The monster claws at only bone since the flesh gave out years ago. No one knows how to stop it. Not even he himself. Though if he stays silent, how will the monster ever escape his suffering?" Eli paused and looked up from the screen to the clock.

3:22 am. The witches hour.

(Come take your medicine dear it'll help the headaches go away)

The question always pondered onto Elijah. Why does he always write about his brother? Most would think it's grief but it can't be. Why grief a spirit that never told him a thing as it looked like now. His twin. A soul that was combined in a womb at one point but broke away slowly throughout adulthood.

He needed a drink...just one.

He went to the kitchen and checked his wine cooler. He saw the label and stared at it. It was already 5:30 am. God. How does time go by so fast?

He got a glass out and yawned as he remembered that his mother was coming in a few hours to see him. To talk to him about his life and all the changes revolving around it.

He didn't need that lecture or even small talk. He rolled his eyes and took his bottle instead in his office.

He took the bottle to his lips and-

(You really shouldn't drink. Mom doesn't like when you get moody)

And poured the contents down his throat. He chugged the first pint as if it wasn't a blink to his eye. The tinglingness hit his throat hard as the after taste burned.

He sat down at the computer and stared longing at it. He couldn't help but think of the deadline again. The god damn deadline that is a marker he shouldn't even press on.

He remembered his first book. The first publication had him thrilled and his brother was right there when he signed it over to the publication company. He was there through a lot of Elijah's milestones.

He shut down the computer and then got up chugging some more of the wine. He went to his living room and stared at the vinyl collection. His newest addition was Bon Iver's Hey Ma. He kept it going on repeat until he only had half a bottle left. He poured the last glass and left it at the glass coaster. He went to the kitchen and put the wine away. Then he went into the living room again.

His books were disorganized....