•✿ ʙᴏᴜɴᴅ ʙʏ ғᴀᴛᴇ ✿•

Chapter Eighteen: The Road Home

I've been on the road for a while. I feel like I don't even recognize the scenery, but honestly, it could be because my mind is in shambles right now. About a half a mile later I'm recognizing the neighborhood and the view of the ocean. To my horrible luck though the car breaks down on me. I turn the key over and over hitting the gas pedal but to no avail. The car is dead. Kinda like I feel right now. The irony. I get out and slam the door shut and begin the walk home. Oh well. Home is actually pretty close by. I think the walk will do me some good. Give me time to get my mind together when I walk through the doors.

1 hour later~

I'm walking up the front porch and stand in front of the door. I take a deep breath and look straight ahead. I can feel an anxiety attack creeping up. I knock on the door trying to push past it. Seconds later I hear scurrying feet hurrying across to open the door. As soon as the door opens I'm bombarded with hugs from a little boy. Danny. Not long after my mom comes into view holding a baby. She looks pale and mess like she hasn't slept in a long while. As soon as she sees me she comes over and joins in the hug. Being hugged like this triggering a lot of pains but I don't even care. I put my arms around them and feel myself get overwhelmed with emotions I'm struggling to stand.

"M-mum..." Is all I can seem to manage to say before I choke on my words. She says nothing but holds me tighter. After being there for a while before mom pulls me inside. "Sweety, what happened?" She says looking me over but I don't say anything. I look at the baby and poke its cheek. "This is your baby sister. Her name is Katelyn." Mom says look down at her smiling but it quickly fades when she looks back at me. I don't really want to stay here any longer with my little brother looking at me like this. I don't even want my mom to look me like this but I know it's inevitable. I decide to move past the both of them and head upstairs to my room and head to the bathroom. I start the shower, putting it warm and take off the button-down shirt and lab coat throwing it on the floor. Once I get inside it feels like it stings at first but it soon fades away. I just stand there letting the water hit me as I watch the dirt and blood go down the drain. I wish can disappear like that too. After I wash off I go to the room get dressed and lay in bed staring at the wall.

It's cold outside. It isn't summer, anymore. The leaves have changed. It's fall now. I've been trapped over there all summer long. I've been abused and tortured all throughout the summer. Three months. Has it been three months since I've seen the light of day? Three months of hell and they're gonna top it off they're gonna get away with it. My vision gets blurry as tears start to stream down my face. School has started and I'm scared. I don't wanna go back. What if I see Luke. What if he comes here to bring me back. I don't want that, I don't want to go back there. My mind is racing with thoughts I don't even notice my mum come into the room. She softly sits on the bed and rubs my shoulder. "Sweety, what's wrong?" She says. I shake my head not wanting to tell her. I don't wanna relive it. "What happened sweety talk to me."

                             ~🌸~

"H-he hurt me, mom! H-HE HURT ME! HE HURT ME REALLY BAD!!" I yell out hysterical. Tears streaming down my face profusely. I start hyperventilating, I feel like those words are suffocating me. "IT HURTS MOM!!" I just keep crying while my mum pulls me into a tight embrace. As she hushes me while rocking back and forth. "I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry." She tells me, her voice cracking as she tries to console me. She starts stroking my hair. "Mummy?" My mum turns to a little voice at the door and sees Dan standing in the doorway looking worried. When I see Daniel I try to do some deep breaths, wipe my tears, and sit up in bed. She stops and gets up from the bed and walk over to him. "Come on honey, let's go make some hot chocolate for your big sister." She tells him leading him outs so he doesn't see my state. I don't wanna live anymore.

I'm just bringing everyone down. I'm disgusting it's my fault all of this happened I shouldn't be crying. I get up from the bed and close the door and go to the bathroom. I go into the cabinet and grab whatever pill bottle I see. I open the medication bottle start spilling out a bunch of the pills into my hand and throw them in my mouth. I open the faucet to the sink and drink some water to wash it down. I grab another pill bottle not looking at what it says neither caring. My hands start shaking as I open the bottle. I pour pills into my hand and shove them into my mouth. I drink some water to scarf them down. After I put the pills back in the cabinet I walk over to the bed and lay down. I close my eyes sobbing to myself hoping that I drank enough medication to never wake up again.

A Few moments later a soft knock can be heard at the door. I open my eyes and watch them open the door and come in. "Hey sweety we brought you some hot chocolate to help you feel a little better." Daniel runs over to the bed and climbs on top and sits next to me still looking worried. "How are you feeling?" She asks setting the hot chocolate down on my nightstand. I sit up in bed feeling kinda nauseous and dizzy. "I....feeel...lonely.." I say back to hear my words coming out slurred. I watch as her eyebrows knit together looking at me strangely. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... I feel.... lonely.." I say sitting up looking at her.

"Like how? Like relationship-wise or what?"

                             ~🌸~

"Noo.... like... I'm surrounded by a crowd of people..... and they're all walking in one direction.... passing by me.... and no one even notices me." I say to her trying to explain to her the best I can. My left arm starts hurting but at the same time, it feels kind of numb. "Baby I notice you, sweetheart." She says her voice sounding like she's going to cry at a moment's notice. I look at her shaking my head. "I know... I know... I'm surrounded by people that love me......I know that...but knowing it and feeling it are two different things. I.... still feel alone though. I feel like..... I'm drowning.... and screaming for air.... and no one even turns around to even look at me." I explain desperate for her to understand me.

"What's wrong? Why are you talking like that?" She asks concerned. I confess to her that I mixed some pills together and that I drank them. I told her that I didn't want to go to the hospital and that she couldn't make me go neither could we afford it. "I don't understand baby if you're in pain just smile. Don't show that you're in pain to anyone." She says eyes filled with tears threatening to spill. Her words cut me like knives, stabbing me repeatedly. As if I wasn't already doing that. Enduring everything so that I don't burden her or father. So that I don't have cause trouble for her. Knowing that she has a lot on her plate and she's always sick so I don't say anything and keep it all to myself and try to take care of it on my own.

"Just tell me how can I help you. What do you need me to do?" She asks me, waiting for me to make a request. She doesn't understand me. I shake my, look at her in the eye and smile at her just like she said to. "Nothing. You can't do anything. You can't help me. N-no one can." I say forcing the words out struggling to keep a smile on my face. You can't even understand me. "It's okay.... go watch over our baby sister..... I'm tired anyway. Don't worry about me. She needs you more right now." I say laying down giving my back to her, not letting her refuse. And right on cue, Kathrine's crying can be heard from down the hall. I close my eyes and I can hear her sigh.

"Daniel stay with your sister and watch over her okay? If something happens you come and get me immediately okay?"

"Okay Mummy." He says. Soon after he replies to he I can feel him lie down next to me and wrap his little arm around me and starts rubbing little circle on my back. His hands are so small. I'm so pitiful, having my little brother comfort me. It should be me comforting him not the other way around. I hear him give a little yawn and whispers. "It's okay sis...I'm gonna get stronger and protect you.....so you don't have to cry anymore." Or at least I think that's what he says because soon after I drift off into a deep slumber.