More Than it Seems

Cocoa

(This will be a long chapter in my opinion so I hope you enjoy!) - @theblackqueen

My life is wonderful. I have it good. I should be grateful. 

"You don't deserve to be here," momma would always told me. 

 "You mother is just joking, kiddo," my dad would always chuckle.

"It's not a very funny joke, daddy, " I remember saying. 

" My little lily..," he gave me a hug, " your mother has no good sense of humor. "

I hugged him back tightly. I like daddy better than mommy, but I'd never say it aloud. Mommy would get frustrated and hurt me. But hurting me was good, she would say. Because I deserved it. Daddy said touch is a way of affection. So I guess that's mommy showing me love. It never seemed right, and daddy never saw when mommy hurt me.  I would never tell him either. 

Daddy pulled me off of him and stood," you should get ready for bed."

I nod, " all right." I left through the hall to get to the bathroom. I turned and heard momma talking in a harsh hushed voice. 

"I can't!" She whispered, " it's wrong but at least we'll have money!" She paused," hold on I'll call you back."

I ran into the restroom as quiet and as fast as I could before mama came around. I shut and locked the door as I heard her light footsteps against the wooden floors. My heart spend as I saw her shadow peering inside.

"Cocoa," she said in a way that caused me to shiver, " what are you doing right now?"

My lips shook as I said, " daddy said I have to get ready for bed, so I'm brushing my teeth!"

I heard the door knob shake crazily, " why is the door locked?! Open the door!"

"I- I'm using the restroom!"

"Lies!" She yelled," I saw your pitiful little shadow being too nosey into my conversation! What did you hear, Cocoa!? What did you hear?!"

I sobbed, " I didn't hear anything! I promise! I didn't hear anything!"

"So it was your shadow stalking me?!"

"I don't know what you mean, " I squeaked, " daddy!?" I yelled out for him, "daddy can you put me to bed?!"

The absence of my father's voice scared her.  The door shook crazier and momma was getting angry. I didn't like her when she was like this. 

She went towards the door very very slowly. She knew better than to make her mother wait. She knew better than to get too loud at her too. She also knew that momma loves her. And yet she was afraid. For the first time in forever, she thought of this feeling as fear. Fear....She was afraid of her mother. She thought maybe to wait for her father to come. She sat next to the stool and hugged her knees, crying. 

"I love you mommy! I'm sorry! I love you! Don't hurt me!" I kept repeating. 

The yelling stopped along with the shaking door. There was a long pause until I heard sniffling. Sobs began to fill the air and the sobs were turning into loud, long, crying moans. 

She was crying. 

Again. But this was different. She sound different. Her cries seem like she was hurt. Confused. Mommy was sad. 

We both were. 

We cried together for a long long time.  Mine were soft sniffles and hers were loud wails. She was hurting really bad. 

...

I woke up in my bed. Slowly I sat up, confused as how I got here. I searched the room, my room, and nothing was unusual.  Nothing was out of place. My toys that daddy got me were on the ground where I always left them. 

I stood and instantaneously fell hard on the ground. My knees caught myself but the pain was more than expected. I choked on my cry. I can't be loud. I shouldn't be loud. I can't wake momma. I can't wake daddy. 

As I got up, I wiped my hot tears away. My head was throbbing with intense pressure. My vision blurred and I felt nauseous. I ran to the restroom and threw up. I threw up hard and violently. My body surged and heaved in extreme strained pain.  I gasped into the stool, not even caring of the germs there in it. I was too weak to move. I was too sick to move. 

I was in too much pain. 

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and energy quickly came back as I jolted up, " Cocoa?"

Daddy....

"Are you alright, kiddo? I'm coming in."

The door swung open slowly to the heavenly presence of my dad. He frowned, "oh no. That can't be good..."

I fell back to the ground, suddenly very very tired, " what's wrong, daddy?"

"Your ears.."he whispered as he knelt before me. His hand hovered over my ears. I felt his fingers brush slightly against them. He held up bloody fingers to my face, " they're severely damaged....I'll be back."

He stood as I ran to the mirror and stood on the stool. My ears weren't normal. Shriveled and a blooded pulp. I screamed, " what do we do?"

He turned in the doorway with a strange smile of surprise. He thought for a moment, "...you...you can't feel pain?"

"Huh?" I stared," no, daddy. My head really really hurts!"

"What about your ears?" He was facing me fully now. He seemed intrigued, "can you feel pain in your ears?"

He came up to me. Daddy was still so tall even as I stood on the stool. He's hands hovered over my ears. 

"No...no pain."

"Heh," he smiled, " your quite incredible my precious little lily..."

I smiled, despite the hammering headache. 

He picked me off the stool and told me to follow him. So I did. We went pass mommy, who was sleep on the coach. We passed all of our rooms and to the end of the hall. Nothing was here. Nothing stood in front of me nor besides me. The closest room to this was daddy's. 

I looked up at him.  Something felt strange. Why are we staring at a wall?

He smiled softly, so I also smiled. 

"You can go now."

"Huh?"

"Go play. I'll make us breakfast."

My heart fluttered, "can we have pancakes, daddy! Pancakes, please?!"

He chuckled, " of course."