DUSK (Alex X Jacob #3)

Chapter 6

The sun shining like a thousand diamonds in through my window I pulled the covers of my head and let out a rather large grumble. But I had to get up. It seemed like a beautiful day and since Forks didn't get much sun, especially during the summer I should at least enjoy it while I could. Throwing my feet over the edge of my bed all of last nights memories flashed before my eyes. I let out a defeated sigh. Last night was a complete disaster. How did it all go so wrong?
Oh right, it was Jacob.
He just made it so much worse. Why couldn't he just dance with Bella on her wedding night and be thrilled to see me again? Why couldn't he just shut his damn mouth? Why couldn't he just....
I shook my head. That wasn't Jake. If I knew anything about him it was that he was not good at keeping his lips sealed. If something or someone pissed him off enough he would lose it. Made him seem more like Paul, then Sam most days. At least Sam got a hold of him last night. Talked him down if anything. It seemed like Sam was the only one that could reason with him. Maybe Sam was who I needed to talk to, I thought as I made my way downstairs. Warm hoodie wrapped around me I marched into the kitchen and pulled out the frozen loaf of bread. Breaking apart to pieces, I placed them into the toaster. Leaning up against the counter I just kept on shaking my head. All of us just wanted last night to turn out differently. I'm sure even Edward didn't see Jake acting out. I mean how could he?
I was getting lost in my thoughts just as continuous knocking was coming from the front door. Jumping up I bolted for the front door only to hesitate as I glanced at the figure standing in front of it. I let out a breath I had been holding back and opened the door. I crossed my arms over my chest and moved. Allowing him to come in. Passing me as he stepped inside he flashed me a smile that screamed I'm so happy to see you. It didn't really seem that way last night.
"Hey". He uttered.
Arms still crossed I glanced down at the floor. Now was my time to demand answers from him and yet here I was sorta getting cold feet. It was now or never, Alex.
"Just hey?"
Jake sighed, "Alex I'm sorry. For everything".
"As you should be. Do you have any idea how much you upset me? How much you upset Bella? No cause you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself. As pissed off or as angry as you were you couldnt at least called or maybe sent a text to at least one of us? if not me then your father. Billy was worried about you. The whole pack was. We all were". I stated. Jacob sigh and stepped closer.
"I didn't mean for any of it to go this far...I wanted to call-"
"And yet you didn't. You know I get that you hate Edward and the Cullens, but this is Bellas life. if she wants Edwards then just deal with it. And how could you do this, especially at her wedding of all places?"
Jake tensed up and growled under his breath, "She wants to become one of them and your okay with this?"
I couldn't believe this. I just shook my head.
"I may not agree fully with my sister, but she's my sister Jake. I will not abandon her like you did".
"What if you don't get to see her ever again?"
I sighed. I knew that was a possibility with her becoming one of them, and as much as I wanted to tell her no I couldn't. It was her life and I only wanted her tp be happy.
"Then I have to live with that, but I will not push Bella away or try to stop her. I want to keep her in my life for as long as I can". I fired back at him.
"You cant be serious, Alex!? She'll one of them. Not to mention she wants to...with him".
"That's none of your business what she's doing with him. Its her life for gods sake Jake".
Jake growled larger this time and slammed his fist against the wall.
"He could hurt her or worse-"
"I know that Jake!" I shouted back at him.
Jake grabbed onto my arm, "Then why-"
"Because Jacob. Besides you have no right to talk. You left us. You left me. So you have no right to complain about all of this when you weren't here to help settle it".
"She will regret this!"
I shook my head. He was just as stubborn and pig headed sometimes as Paul was.
"Do you have any idea how much you leaving affected me?" He had to know, but I wanted to stick it to him. "It was heartbroken, Jake. I still am".
"Alex, I never meant to hurt you". He pleaded as he brushed his hands against my arms. From the expression on his face I knew that he was truly sorry for the pain that he caused me and I just wanted to forgive him and make up, but it wasn't going to be that easy. He needed to slowly earn back my faith in him.
"Yet you did".
"I know that and I regret what I did by leaving you. I will regret that for as long as I live, but I needed to get away from here. Away from...them. Clear my head and just think. But I promise you I will make it up to you no matter what. Dammit Alex I care about you. I care about Bella I just..."
I sighed and took Jacob's hand in my mine. "Jake, I know you never intentionally meant to hurt me or Bella, but you did. Bella left for her honeymoon upset and conflicted. And me well...you saw what Edward leaving Bella did to her. it wasn't as bad, but there were a lot of nights were I was crying myself to sleep and that's something I cant forget".
Jake's warm eyes meant mine. Saddened, worried, all filled his eyes and from the way their were bags under them clearly he didn't sleep a wink last night. I also didn't even notice that he was wearing the same outfit that he was last night at the wedding. He was definitely a wrack it appeared.
"I don't expect you to forgive me, Alex but please don't shut me out-"
"I'm not going to shut you out, Jake. I don't think either of us could take it, especially after me being your mate. However It wont go back to the way it was either...at least not right away". I replied bringing my hand up to his cheek. "I care about you Jake, but after what happened-"
Jacob placed his hand over mine, "I know. And Ive missed you Alex". I couldn't help a smile.
"I missed you too Jake. So much". I couldn't hold it back any longer. I reached out and pulled him close to me. I wrapped my arms around him. And I could instantly feel him wrap his around my back.
    "I though you said it wouldn't go back to the way it was?"
   "I did, but I just needed this".

"Bella tell you were...he's taking her?" jacob asked as I sat down beside him on the front porch. I handed him a drink and nodded my head.
    "She did, but I'm not telling you or anyone else. And I doing want to hear a word about it. Its her decision Jake and that's that".
I took a sip of my water and Jake grumbled softly under his breath.
    "What about Charlie or Renee? What about their feelings?"
    "If you told them about Bella, not only would you be hurting her, but me as well".
Jake's sigh was out of frustration.
     "Seth told me you've been hanging around there".
    "I wanted to help with my sister's wedding". I replied hoping this wouldn't turn into another argument. "There not my enemy Jake. There yours. I may not trust or like them 100% but their my family now and they've treated me well. They've kept me and Bella safe in times of danger so I owe them the benefit of the doubt". I turned to face and placed my hand on his shoulder.
     "I may not like Sam all that much but I can tolerate him for yours and Seth's sake. Can't you at least tolerate them for mine and Bella's? Besides I'm not taking sides. I care about both of you".
    "You sound just like Bella. Asking me to tolerate...them".
    "Then maybe you should. At least for me".
Jake sighed then leaned in. "Ill try".
I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. "That's all I could ask for".

Another update. Also happy early thanksgiving to those that celebrate and to those that don't I hope you have a good day tomorrow.