If Only She Knew

You Okay?

A/N

Hey guys... sorry for a late update. i had lots of things in mind and was trying to figure out what should go first and what each character sould say. Im just trying my very best at this fanfic for you guys. :)

Hannah POV

I roll over and look at the clock on my night table that reads 9:32am. I slept for about... 3 hours maybe? I just couldn't stop thinking about what happened last night. Knowing that the girl I've fallen for is getting married to the guy she's fallen for, it just hurts. The feeling when you love someone and they don't love you back or that they are in love with someone else, hurts. And all I felt last night was hurt.

I reach and grab for my phone and wipe away some tears that have just slightly fallen. I unlock my phone and see that I have a text from Mamrie. I open and it reads 'Hey hun. You okay? Why don't you come over for some late breakfast? Love ya' I sniffle reading the text and manage to reply saying 'sure i will be right over'. I put my phone down and change into some sweat pants, my parkour shirt and jean vest over top. I brush my teeth and clean up a bit then grab my phone and car keys and out of the house.

I arrive at Mamrie's not too long later. She opens the door and hugs me tight.

"Hey Han. How are you?"

"Could be better." I let go of her and she does also, closing the door behind me. She looks at me with a concerned look on her face. I give her half smile and she wraps her arm around me and we walk into the kitchen.

"I didn't make anything because I wasn't sure if ya wanted anythin'"

"Yeah no I'm okay. Thanks Mames." she nods and sits a chair at the table. I sit in the chair opposite of her and sigh.

"Hannah, I'm so sorry.."

"No Mamrie, its okay." 

"Han its not okay. I mean look at yourself. Did you get any sleep last night?"

I shake my head slowly to say no. Mamrie sighs and holds my hands.

After a few minute of silence and me sniffling I speak up a bit, "I just... I want her to be happy. No matter what that means. I just want someone to be there for her and treat her with all the love she deserved from me and who will see her always as I do now. Chester... He's the best guy for her. I dont know why I thought Grace and I could be a-a 'thing'. I thought we were going to be together forever and get married and grow old together but it was just all in my head." I sob a little bit and put my head down, pressing my forehead against the table.

"Hannah hun.."

"I dont want to hear whatever you have to say Mamrie... And I'm sorry if I sound bitchy but im just..."

"Its okay Han. Just breathe."

"I should have told her sooner. I should have told her how i felt the second I fell for her. Its all my fault"

"No Hannah, this is not your fault. None of this is."

"I just wanna fold up and stop... I don't wanna think anymore... I don't wanna feel what im feeling anymore."

"Hannah, don't talk like that ya goof" Mamrie raises a half smile to try and cheer me up.

I raise my head and my eyes are red and puffy from the tears ive been holding in. "How do you keep going, when the worst thing has happened?"

Mamrie has this sad look on her face and sighs "You just gotta keep going. You just gotta keep moving forward."

"But what if I cant?"

"You will. You're a strong girl Farto."

I smile a little bit and we both stand up. Mamrie gives me a giant hug and kisses the top of my head.

"Its going to be okay Farto." she says quietly. I smile a little bit and wipe away more tears.

We talk for a little longer and I decide to say goodbye and go home.

I want to tell her still... I really do. And I will. I'll tell her I love her.