If Only She Knew

Friends?

After pacing back and forth in my room yet again trying to figure out what to say to Grace, I grab my phone and dial her number. You got this Hannah.

"Hannah?" She answers.

"Hey Grace. How are you?" Keep it cool. Don't screw this up.

"Uhm, I'm okay. You?"

"Not too bad. Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go out for lunch with me today?" I bite my bottom lip waiting for her to respond back.

I hear her sigh into the phone. "Listen, Hannah. I would love to but I uhm, I gotta plan for the wedding."

"Oh.." My heart sinks a little. "Uhm, does Chester know what ha--"

"No. He doesn't know anything."

"Oh alright."

"Listen uhm, what happened last night.. I was still a little tipsy.. I didn't mean to do what I did.. I love our friendship and I just want it to stay at that. You know.. Just friends.."

Friends? Just friends? Now my heart has sunk to the bottom of my stomach. I feel the tears forming in my eyes and I feel like screaming at her but of course I can't.

"Chester is a re--" she continues but I cut in.

"A really good guy? I know. And he is. And he's perfect for you. I was stupid for thinking that you and I could be a thing."

"Hannah, I--"

"No, no. I get it Grace. Chester is the one for you. I could never equal to his greatness and I'm so stupid for thinking I could. I'm stupid for loving you. I'm stupid for letting me love you." I being to cry now and I just feel embarrassed.

"Han--"

"You know Grace.. I loved you since New York. Since the day we met. The day we met in New York I thought that you were the one for me. I have loved you ever since and I can and will not stop loving you! And I am so, so, so, incredibly stupid! And I just fucking hate myself for falling in love with you 'cause dammit Grace, I fell so fucking hard!"

"Hannah j--"

"I gotta go."

I hang up without giving Grace anytime to respond. I didn't want to hear what she had to say anyways. I feel so hurt! So fucking hurt!

I throw my phone across my room and it ends up crashing into the mirror above my dresser causing both the mirror and my phone to break and shatter all over the floor of my bedroom. I punch the wall hard in frustration leaving a dent in the wall. I feel a stinging in my hand and instantly regret doing that. I walk backwards and hit my bedroom wall hard with my back. I cry harder and let out uncontrollable sobs. I put my hands on each side of my head and slowly slide down the wall and eventually sit on the ground. I grab a nearby pillow and scream and cry into it. I scream harder and harder. I didn't want to live anymore. The one and only person I love doesn't want me. I scream harder into the pillow until I see darkness.

A/N
Sorry this chapter is kinda sad... But don't worry it gets better! School starts again tomorrow so I will try my best to upload as much as I can! Follow, vote and comment! Love you all and thanks for reading xx <3