The Apotheosis

Disaster in the Air

Elphaba awoke in her office to the sound of the seven o'clock news jingle. She sighed as she turned off the radio and sauntered out of the room. Chistery flew up to her and perched upon her shoulder.

Elphaba smiled. The winged Snow Monkey had been barely a baby when Elphaba had found him, all alone and severely injured by some sort of predator attack. He was growing up fast now, and had even managed to learn how to speak a few words. He was essentially the baby of the palace, and no other palace pet could take his place. At that moment, however, he was chattering non-stop into her ear, making her laugh. She tensed up when she saw The Wizard's Press Secretary, an older Gillikinese woman they called Madame Morrible, came up to her and informed her, "The Wizard wished to see you."

"Alright, Madame," Elphaba nodded and set off for the Wizard's office as Chistery flew off.

Elphaba knocked on the Wizard's door. It was open. She gently pushed it open and asked, "Um, your Ozness, what is it that-"

"Oh, Elphaba, dearie, how many times have I told you not to call me that," the man known as the Wizard said, clicking his tongue. "I'm your father, girl. Just call me Oscar. And take a seat."

Elphaba sat down warily. Oscar was grinning, and something about the look in his eyes was disturbing for her. Not just disturbing, but highly disconcerting. All of a sudden, he looked at her and began singing,

"What do  you want, girl?
Tell me what you desire to see
Your deepest intent,
What do you see for this noble land?
I'm looking for someone with strong ambition
Someone to sell their specific vision
Someone to share with precise precision their thoughts
'Cause I want you to want
To want-"

"Um, Oscar, what do you mean?" Elphaba asked, deep in thought. "Like one concrete goal that motivates all my actions? I don't think I have one of those, because honestly, I've already got what I want. Unless you're talking about what most people want- money, a partner, kids...no, not kids, but I think you get it. I don't have any well-defined desires at present."

"Well then, my dear green girlie, how is anyone supposed to sympathise with you?" Oscar asked, concerned.

"I don't want anyone to sympathise with me, Oscar. Please, understand," Elphaba begged, a slight hint of desperation in her voice.

But Oscar ignored it and sang on,

"I want you to want, child
A girl so vague just can't be trusted
Something you pine for
Maybe someone who keeps you lusted-"

Elphaba gasped in shock as Oscar jumped out of his chair and traced the figure in the air that looked like a cross between a curvy woman and a giant caterpillar. All she could think was, how does he even know?

But she somehow willed herself to focus on Oscar's song, even if it made her uncomfortable-

"I'm just your dad, I'm not an idea guy
I let you do your thing, now it's time you do mine,
But if you can't pin the point that's in the sky
Then I want you to want!
To want

D'you know what I want for myself?
I've waited for so lo-ong
To tell somebody else

Melena, my love
You're my muse, my source of light
Oh, Melena,
I want you to choke me out at night

I want you to choke me
I want you to choke me
I want you to choke me while I jerk off
I want you to choke me while I jerk off-"

"Eew. Why my mother, of all people?" Elphaba muttered to herself as she looked at the picture of the woman that Oscar was staring at so lovingly.

And Oscar sang on, much to Elphaba's chagrin,

"Now you know what it is to want
It consumes a man with a passion
To drive the primary plot
So take up yoga or improv classes
Volunteer at shelters or Twitch to the masses

There's gotta be something that'll keep my hands off you
Off you

'Cause I want you to want!

And if you don't want
We're through

But if you do, I'll promise you,
Someday soon you will be
Just as wonderful as me,
Miss Elphaba..."

"Um, if it's fine with you, Oscar, I think I'll leave now. Get some coffee or something. Bye," Elphaba said, letting out a huge sigh of relief as she left the office.

But, even outside the office, she found no comfort. Activists, Animals, homeless immigrants- everyone was singing and dancing happily, even trying to bribe her into joining in. But she ran on, as fast as she could, until she was inside The Emerald Rose and safely seated as far from the door as was possible in that small space. She smiled as Glinda came to the counter, but didn't see what was coming next.
***
Song used: "What Do You Want, Paul?"
(the modifications are my own doing)