Glinda awoke to find her hands bound and Avaric's head on her shoulder. She bumped her chair against the back of Avaric's and whispered, "Hey."
He obviously seemed to be asleep. Glinda snarled in exasperation and shouted, "Wake up you fucking creep!"
Avaric opened his eyes and said groggily, "What?"
"Your smelly head isn't supposed to be on my shoulder. And you really need to wash your hair properly sometimes. It stinks," Glinda remarked disgustedly.
"Okay, whatever, blondie. You're not my mother," Avaric retorted.
As Doctor Dillamond walked in, Glinda asked him, "Doctor Dillamond, what's going on? What are you doing?"
"Exactly what needs to be done. Ozma! Open the gates, switch off the fences, shut it all down!"
"Doctor Dillamond, please! Those fences are the only things protecting us!" Glinda begged.
"Protecting us from what, Miss Glinda? The end of the world? What is protecting us from climate change or from a mass holocaust? The world was already doomed...not by them, but by us. I...I was trying to save something that couldn't be saved. Before now. But, before we can be reborn into a better world, we must all say our goodbyes-"
"No, Doctor Dillamond, please," Glinda begged. But Doctor Dillamond ignored her as he said, cradling his assistant speaker, "My dear Ozma, after all these years in isolation, with you as my one companion, I've come to live you as much as any lady of flesh and bone. You know all my joys and hopes and fears, and even my oldest, most secret passions-"
"What secret passions? I do hope it isn't anything deadly," Glinda asked.
"You see, Miss Glinda, before I was a biologist, I had other ambitions. My true passion is, and will always be, musical theatre," Doctor Dillamond declared.
"Let us go already, you crazy old Goat!" Avaric demanded.
"Master Avaric, I don't believe I can do that. Don't you see, that in order for humanity to survive, it must evolve? That's what this visitation from the other world has brought us...salvation! Exactly like what Lurline or the Unnamed God did for Oz in our scriptures! This is our second and final chance to join them!"
"Doctor Dillamond, please. Think about what you're doing! Don't you see how much it will hurt Elphie if you do this?" Glinda screened in an agonised way.
"I'm afraid, Miss Glinda, I don't see your point. We must renounce all worldly attachments if this mission is to succeed. This is humanity's eleventh hour. And I have prepared a song for this occasion."
"See? He's completely off his rocker!" Avaric shouted.
"Contrariwise, my dear young man, you're just as sane as I am. After examining the creature you once called Milla, I came to the conclusion that these things possess highly specialised glands that only allow them to communicate in certain rhythmic frequencies. They're drawn to music! Like a moth to a flame....Ozma, play my music!"
Music started to play, a gentle piano tune, but nevertheless shocking to Glinda as Doctor Dillamond started to sing, in a bleating, sandpapery voice,
"It's...a...Show stoppin' number, a real show stopper
A show stoppin' number, come on
Something to shock 'em, to bring them a-crawling
A big-time box-office draw
With the press and the glamour, we'll kill the reviews
Spotlight on Mr. Ingenue
So fill up your tumbler
Got a show stoppin' number for you..."
"Doctor Dillamond, please, they'll kill us," Glinda begged, terrified. But Doctor Dillamond continued,
"A show stoppin' number is something you die for
A real catchy earworm-y tune
An award-winning score
that seeps in and out of your pores
A ditty make the chorus girls swo-on
It'll unify humanity in a thundering chorus!
No exits from this op'ra venue
So splash those shiny cymbals
Got a show stoppin' hymnal for you"
YOU ARE READING
The Apotheosis
Fanfiction(Wicked/ The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals crossover) Something wicked is happening in the Land of Oz... In the Emerald City, a long time ago, there lived a group of friends. Elphaba, the green girl, is cynical and rational, focussed on her work and...
