Within A Year

Chapter 1

Nothing can prepare for the life that you’re given; you simply have to muddle through and hope for the best. Some achieve great things too while others have a plainly mediocre existence. I, on the other hand, can honestly say that my life was the closest thing to a living hell I could ever have imagined. It was as though I was sat in a very cold, dark room screaming and desperately hoping that somebody, anybody, would turn on the light. So far in my life that had never happened.

Only one person had ever come close and that was Fletcher, the best friend that I could have dreamed of, but still not even he could diminish the darkness that surrounded me. Of course he held a very small glimmer of light though, which kept me sane and usually gave me the smallest inch of hope I needed to carry on. However tonight was different.

I had had enough. I would describe it as the lowest point of my life, which is quite ironic considering that it led me to a very high place indeed. I found myself balancing on a dangerously small ledge on top of an extremely tall building, literally. I was attending yet another university party that involved people getting drunk out of their minds and practically unable to remember each other’s names. It used to be my idea of fun too however I had somehow grown out of it. But it was the perfect atmosphere where you could go unnoticed and do anything you wanted really. In my case that meant throwing myself off a building.

 
I can’t imagine it was going to be the most pleasant way to die and will probably leave quite a bit of mess at the bottom but unfortunately I won’t be around to care. I was actually surprised at my own ability to concoct such a plan. I had managed to find an empty room at this god-awful party and pull myself out onto the window ledge. Also did I mention I was wearing six inch heels? Well if I’m going to die, I suppose I should do it in style.

I glanced down at the seemingly miniature world below me and realised how completely insignificant I am. I am just a useless, forgettable speck placed in a world with people who don’t care. It was inevitable that I wouldn’t be able to survive it. Besides I was already pretty much dead on the inside. And with that thought engrained in my sober mind, I began to let go of the wall I had been gently gripping onto. This was it. The end of my tragically short life. Though at least I would go out with a bang…

"Lace! What the fuck are you doing?! Get down!” I heard an all too familiar voice shout from the window that I had carelessly left wide open. Unsurprisingly, it was Fletcher. The only people in this entire world who would notice I was gone.

“F-Fletcher! Just go back i-inside and leave m-me to do this!” I cried back, annoyed that he had ruined my spectacular moment. I took grasp of the wall once again and leant my back against it, feeling the cool bricks through my rather thin t-shirt. I swear to god if he ruins this for me, I’ll throw him off this ledge with me.

“What are you talking about?! Think about what you’re doing here! You don’t want this!”

“I-I do! I do! I have never wanted anything more in my life!”

It was the truth as well. The idea of how I am going to die had been whizzing around in my head for months now but I had finally decided that the time had come to do it. I wanted to be able to control how I died because that is the only thing I could control. If that doesn’t tell you about what a terrible life I lead I don’t know what does.

“Just edge towards me! I mean it! I won’t let you do this!” Fletcher continued to argue. I shut my eyes tight and tried hard to block out everything he was saying. I couldn’t let him talk me out of it, not when I was so close. I wanted to be free from this agonising hell, why couldn’t he see that?

“I have to! I-I don’t want to feel darkness anymore…” My voice caught in my throat as I spoke this aloud. I had never felt so trapped.