Within A Year

Chapter 20

I didn’t leave his bedside for the next few days. I didn’t care about missing university stuff because frankly Fletcher was far more important to me. The frustrating thing was that he hadn’t even woken up. He just seemed to be frozen in a fragile state with every breath an imminent struggle. I wanted to talk to him more than anything in the world. I craved to hear his voice. It was chilling to see him so still with only the movements of his strained breath. It should be me in this situation not Fletcher. I couldn’t help but blame myself.

“When will he wake up?” Olive asked one of the nurses. She had been visiting regularly as well; Fletcher was her boyfriend after all. It then struck me that if I was in fact in love with Fletcher, what effect would that have on Olive? The last thing I wanted was to ruin their relationship.

“We can’t be sure dear” The nurse answered, checking her clipboard for her notes. It seems as though no one really knew when Fletcher would wake up. His injuries had been pretty horrific. The doctors had said his head injury was particularly bad but hopefully he wouldn’t have any lasting damage.

Olive glanced over at me with a worried expression; I think we were having the same thought. What if he never heals? What happens if he never wakes up? It was all too terrible to even fathom. I shook my head in order to dispel these ideas. I couldn’t be thinking like that, I had to be positive.

The nurse left and the ward became empty, with only me and Olive sat at Fletcher’s bedside. I took a sip of the milky hot chocolate Olive had bought for me a while earlier. With me not wanting to leave Fletcher’s side, Olive was mostly the one to go and get some snacks. I was definitely grateful for it. My biggest fear was what if I went to get a snack and came back and Fletcher was gone? I couldn’t bear that.

“Um… Lacey?”

“Yeah?”

“Err… can you tell me what actually happened now?” Olive queried politely. Over the past few days, I had refused to speak about why Fletcher had actually been hit by the car because I didn’t want to admit it was my fault. However now, I believe Olive should know the truth. She had proven countless times that I could actually trust her.

“Oh…” I muttered, “Okay…” I was reluctant of course but I just had to get it out in the open.

“Well… he just ran across the road… one minute he was there and the next he w-wasn’t…”

“Why was he running across the road?” She frowned, evidently confused why Fletcher would be so stupid,

“B-because he was… um… saving me…” I explained in a quiet tone. I felt embarrassed as I would now have to tell her what he was saving me from, how could I tell her it was myself? I didn’t know whether Olive would be able to handle suicide because I had been so supposedly happy before. I didn’t want her to reject me.

“Saving you? Saving you from what?” Her large green eyes were scanning around my face for an answer and I felt a large, lump appear in the back of my throat,

“From… jumping o-off a b-bridge” I said before being overwhelmed by tears. I couldn’t help it, I know I had already cried so much over the past few days but now I was crying for myself. The realisation of what I had been so close to doing was scary and I didn’t know what to think.

I heard Olive gasp under her breath before walking around to the side of the bed I was sitting on and wrapping her arms around me. I sobbed quietly into her shoulder while she rubbed my back comfortingly. I felt so helpless.

“Oh god Lacey… I had no idea…” She whispered once we pulled away from the hug. I nodded and wiped my face with my sleeve. I had to be strong for now, for Fletcher.