A Sliver of Infinite

chapter 9- pt.2

Another shift, another tedious activity. Stuffing envelopes and sealing them today. Not exactly what I thought I'd be doing as a hospital volunteer, but I've found it's pretty limiting if you aren't actually licensed. Staring at the ticking second hand on the wall, I realize that time does indeed go slower while watching it pass. With my break coming up, I finally get a chance to grab a snack to eat in the backroom.

Sitting there for a moment, I find my mind wandering back to him. No horrible job, no bitchy nurse, no bad hair day could ever pull the pure contentment that creeps over my face at the thought of Dane. Smiling to myself, I grabbed my purse to check my phone, and sure enough, he kept his word.

Dane: "He is not to them what he is to me," I thought: "he is not of their kind. I believe he is of mine- I am sure he is- I feel akin to him- I understand the language of his countenance and movements: though rank and wealth sever us widely, I have something in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him."

Jane. Jane Eyre. Those words, oh, how they reach me. How could he know? Speaking to me in literary form, he completely described our connection in absolute fulfillment. I clutch the phone to my chest feeling that tingling in the pit of my stomach yet again.

I immediately respond back to him, speaking his same language.

Kodi: "I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will."

I trust that he'll know how that passage always resonated with me growing up. Dane always knew. He knew me as I knew him, and the heart can only take so much knowing.

Whether or not I like it, whether our differences divide us, whether his secrets consume us...I've fallen for him.

How did we get here?

He was just a boy I happened to meet under sad circumstances one summer behind our houses. A boy who went through his own darkness for a few years yet found me again in the light. What had he been through before high school? What were his secrets? I never knew why he stopped coming to meet me at the tracks. It had become our routine, our safe place, our comfort zone, yet one day, it all just...stopped.

The more I asked, the further from me he became. My assumption of jealousy was the furthest thing from the truth. He was pushing me away from something, but what that was, I had yet to find out. He had his own demons he was left to deal with, and sadly, I wasn't around for him.

Lost in thought, my phone vibrates again against my chest. Excitedly, I check to see if it's from the one who makes my insides light up.

Gabby: Okay...what's up, where'd you go, and are we dress shopping this weekend?!

Oh shit, Gabby. Totally forgot to text her back in the midst of my crazy thoughts.

Dakota: Hey, sorry my shift started early, and yes, it's a date.

Dress shopping. For what? I didn't even have a date to the dance. The only date I'd even think about going with, well...wouldn't exactly be excited about going.

***

Later that evening after my shift, I came home to my mom already waiting in the kitchen for me.

"Hey mom. Where's dad?"

"Had to go into work, I've made some dinner for you, it's in the microwave. A new vegan recipe that's also keto!" she exclaims.

Her obsession with me and my weight is driving me mad. She keeps trying to throw these new recipes out there for me to try, acting as if she was just being creative in the kitchen, when in reality, I know she has ulterior motives.