A Sliver of Infinite

chapter 30

The next few moments were some of the most painful I had ever been through. I won't say they were the most painful because that would be a lie, but seeing someone you love look you into your eyes with the look of pure and absolute sadness and deceit...well it felt like nothing short of being stabbed into the chest over and over again with the knife of betrayal.

Pam called the hospital immediately after I sent the text. They sent some staff over to come safely collect Dane and bring him back there. It was no easy task. As soon as they got there he went into a panic mode.

He refused to go with them, insinuating they were with the police. He swung on a few of the guys, and actually connected with one of them, probably breaking his nose by the looks of it, before they tackled him to the ground. They injected him with something to get him to calm down as I sat there, in a pile of misery on the floor, with my hands over my mouth, crying out as I watched him, muffling the pain.

It didn't help that he kept yelling out for me to help him, asking me repeatedly why I'd done it, why I'd let them get him. His eyes looked at me as if I'd taken away his last chance for hope. I'd abandoned him when he needed me the most in his mind. It hurt. It fucking hurt. Like shards of glass tearing my heart into tiny strips of nothing.

Pam tried to calm me, holding me as I crumpled into the floor. And even throughout my own trauma of the event, I could see how pained she was at witnessing her baby boy being man-handled in front of her. As a mother it must be hard to not turn into a ferocious mama bear and protect the way you instinctively need to. However, she knew what needed to be done. She had to let go in order for them to safely do their job. This was what he needed. She'd seen it before, maybe not to this extent, but similar situations nonetheless.

"You did the right thing, honey," she says, holding me close to her chest in the aftermath of the event.

I watch them take his sedated form away into the vehicle behind her. Needles scoured my throat as I continued crying for him.

"Then why does it hurt so bad?" I fall apart again, clutching her shirt in my fists.

"I know, Dakota, I know it hurts, but he's sick. He needs professional help. You did the right thing by letting me know and I'm glad you were there with him before he could hurt himself or someone else."

I sigh through the puddle of tears, attempting to get the words out. "It just feels so wrong, I feel like I betrayed him."

"I understand completely," she says, still holding me. "Trust me, it's not easy."

Getting to the hospital, I'd learned Dane was still sleeping from whatever they gave him, resting until he could get back on his medicine and hopefully back to reality. Pam and I went into an office to meet with Dr. Tom, who made an emergency trip to check on Dane's condition when he was alerted to what had happened.

"I'm so sorry this happened," Dr. Tom says in all sincerity. Pam and I sit across the desk from him, reigning in our emotions to listen to what he has to say.

"I thought it was a little strange that he hadn't had any type of reaction to the new medication. Wishful thinking maybe. I guess I was just hopeful that we'd finally found the one," he says, looking sadly off into the distance behind us.

"Actually, he did have a reaction." I admit reluctantly.I pinched the bridge of my nose, hoping the applied pressure would make the pain of my headache go away.

I didn't want to have to do this and I hate being in this position, but the truths need to resurface so we can appropriately help him.

"What? Dakota, you need to tell me what happened," Dr. Tom says calmly as Pam looks over at me in surprise.

"He had a seizure at his place soon after he came home from the hospital. I wanted to bring him in but he made me promise not to." I cry into my hands as Pam rubs my back. "Then, he started to seem so much better, he was feeling good again, so I thought everything was going to be alright..."