The Older Man Part I

Chapter 19

No More Lies

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CHEYENNE'S POINT OF VIEW

A groan fell from my lips as I rolled out of bed. I felt sluggish walking to the bathroom. Ever since I confronted Vincent about his wife, I've felt odd.

Things didn't seem right not having Vincent in my life. It had been three weeks since I last saw Vincent and it wasn't easy on me. I had grown so accustomed to having him in my life that it felt wrong for him to not be here. 

There were moments where I contemplated if I made the right decision ending things with him. I knew that I wouldn't be able to be with him without the thought of his wife in the back of my head, but I missed him so much. It killed me to not feel his touch, his kiss, and his arms wrapped around me. 

It felt almost unnatural going throughout my day without him being apart of it.

I hated having to remove him from my life. All this time, he kept sending me messages and trying to call me. It got to the point where I had to block his number to remove the temptation of responding to him. I wanted to run back to him but I knew that it would be the wrong thing to do. I had to be strong and hold my ground. I couldn't allow myself to act on emotion. If I did, I'd be right back in the middle of everything that was wrong in our relationship.

I had to respect myself enough not to entertain a married man.

One of the worst parts about what happened between us is that Vincent, honestly, was the perfect guy. If he wasn't married, he'd be exactly the kind of man I wanted to be with. 

He had a big heart that was full of love and joy. He had a sense of humor that always brought a smile to my face. He had a way of making me feel like I was the only person in the world that mattered. He made me feel special and appreciated. He always put me first. He was incredible. Not to mention, he was ridiculously handsome.

I loved how he wasn't the typical type of handsome like other guys were. 

He didn't have perfectly styled hair or striking blue eyes. He didn't adorn a six-pack but he was undeniably sexy. He had salt and pepper hair. His eyes were pine green and had the ability to make me blush with a single glance. He had strong, muscular arms and a tight torso with defined v-lines. He had rough features that reflected his age and made him appear more dominant. He was a feast for the eyes.

Everything reminded me of him too. 

It was hard to get away from him. He was everywhere I looked. It was a constant reminder of just how important he was to me. To say I was having a difficult time being separated from Vincent was a dramatic understatement. I felt incomplete without him.

I felt like I could forgive him for what he had done if I only knew why. If there was a reasonable explanation for him hiding his marriage and lying to me all this time, then I'd be open to giving him a second chance, but I felt like that was just my girlish heart rationalizing to do whatever I had to do to have him back in my life again.

Once I was in the bathroom, I got myself prepped and ready for the day.

I was going to spend the day with Thalia. I had told her about what happened with Vincent the day I broke up with him. I was in tears the entire time we were on the phone. She knew I was hurting badly and wanted to help make me feel better.