The Older Man Part I

Chapter 27

Clear The Air

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CHEYENNE'S POINT OF VIEW

When I opened the door and saw Vincent standing across from me, I felt my heart stop. 

I didn't know what to think. I hadn't seen him for the past few months. We never kept in contact. Why he was here was beyond the outreaches of my awareness. 

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't somewhat excited to see him, though. Despite everything I'd gone through with him, I still had feelings for him. Vincent was on my mind all this time we've been apart. I didn't know what had been happening with him since the last time we spoke, but once I heard the news that he left Rachel, I couldn't believe it.

I was at a loss for words.

The feeling that welled up in my heart when he began to kneel on the cement for me was impossible to put into words. I felt my heart break when I saw him so defeated and helpless.

Vincent never told me how he felt about me. Hearing him say that he loved me was the most incredible thing. It took everything in my power to keep from smiling widely when he said that.

Truth be told, I wasn't expecting to hear him say that.

I was sincerely hoping that he would do something to make me forgive him for what he had done to me. He lied to me and embarrassed me, but to hear him confess his feelings for me that I was never undoubtedly sure of when we were together helped alleviate a small part of the pain I felt.

It was a lot to take in at once, from the news of his divorce from Rachel to the confession of his love for me. I couldn't even begin to ponder on his questions for me. I did still love him; that was the easiest question to answer, but when he asked me if I wanted to be with him, I had to take a step back mentally to think about it.

Vincent may have deceived me in our relationship, but I'd yet to know why. I don't think I'd be able to move forward with him (or even consider moving forward) without knowing everything he kept from me and the reasons why.

Even with me still being in love with him, I needed the answers he denied me. If there was any chance of us being together again, then I needed honesty. I felt, after everything I went through, I deserved that much from him.

I stayed looking at him on his knees in front of me. It broke my heart to see him this way. I may have had a few choice words for him but this was still the man that I loved. I hated for him to feel this way.

I didn't want to throw myself into his arms, no matter how badly the girlish side of me wanted to; I wanted to maintain a blank demeanor so I wouldn't let on that I wanted him as badly as I really did. I refused to let my emotions carry me the same way they had during our break-up.

My plan to refrain from expressing emotion to him lasted only so long before I broke temporarily.

With a heavy sigh and a smack of my lips, I placed a gentle hand on top of his head and watched as he tilted his head to look up at me. As he peered up at me, he grabbed my hand and held it to his cheek. His eyes closed in content as the ghost of a smile flirted against the surface of his lips.