frustration. it's all i feel right now while taking this woman's order, whose eyes are almost just as blue and beautiful as the mysterious girl's, who i've seen twice already and still don't know what her name is or where she lives or why she always seems to be wandering the streets so late at night. i can't help but let out a slightly exaggerated sigh on my way to kitchen. be warned world, i'm in a mood. it hasn't even been 24 hours since the whole parking lot incident but it's replayed so many times in my head, that it sincerely feels as though it happened no less than 10 minutes ago. last night right after we all returned from the diner, ryan apologized for acting like a complete psycho and made us promise we'd never say a word about happened to his parents since he didn't want to alarm them.
translation,,
he doesn't want his parents to know what a weirdo he is
"hey are you okay?" poppy asks inquisitively from across the counter the moment she sees me throwing my small notepad and pen onto it. she can be really nosy but i know she always means well. noticing my discomfort she reaches out to give my hand a gentle squeeze. it quickly becomes evident that she knows exactly what has me so worked up, so she motions with her head for me to follow her to this empty booth where we spend a few minutes discussing the events from the night before and eventually come up with the plan of very discreetly asking costumers if they've ever seen a blue eyed girl, with teal hair, who wanders the streets late at night wearing a black sweatshirt underneath a denim overall.
-
"i guess we'll try again on monday!" i sigh, feeling a little defeated but still managing to flash poppy a little grin while i retrieve my backpack from the diner lockers. we asked over 20 costumers if they had ever seen the mysterious blue eyed girl, and while half of them looked at us strangely as if we were on drugs, the other half had no idea who this person was.
"i'm running late for my date with paul, so i'll see ya monday. text me when you get home" poppy's face does that thing again where it lights up at the mention of paul and after giving me a tight bear hug, like she always does, she is out the door. i sigh, wishing i had plans for the weekend ahead, but as per usual... i never do.
-
saturday. what i've always loved about saturdays is that i get to sleep in and recover from a never not hectic week working at frankie's, today, however, i'm unable to stay in bed past 8am, so now i'm up, dressed and out the door to go for a morning walk on the beach. the second i opened my eyes this morning, all my thoughts went straight to the mysterious blue eyed girl. i don't know where does the sudden interest of knowing who she is comes from, but i feel like i need to find her and ask her myself why she apologized and left so abruptly that night and finally get some peace of mind. part of me thinks i'm acting like a crazy person and that i should probably move on with my life, but that night in the parking lot, when i saw her again, i knew this had to be more than just a coincidence. i reach for my headphones in my hoodie pockets and put the earbuds in my ears, letting my favorite indie music playlist take my mind off of her ocean eyes, while ironically walking along the beach.
-
i really need to buy a car. i think to myself as i walk back home from the street market, carrying like 4 bags in each hand. usually it doesn't take me long to get home, i'm a fast walker and that's something i've always been proud of, however, today i've decided to slow down the pace and study my surroundings in hopes there's a sign of "ocean eyes" girl, but it's nearly impossible with all the pedestrians coming from all different directions. this is frustrating. i briefly zone out thinking about how i wouldn't have this problem if i didn't think too much into things and obsess over them. i'd say that's a toxic trait of mine. the silliest most irrelevant thing could happen to me, and i'd still find a way to over analyze it until it becomes the only thing i can think ab-
"i'm sorry"
i feel someone accidentally bumping shoulders with me as we cross the street and i immediately freeze. i freeze the same way i did before. that... voice. that same... 'i'm sorry'. i stare into their bright and icy blue eyes for a split second
and that's when it hit me...
the mysterious girl.... again.
wait, is this real life? she did not just bump shoulders with me, did she? we were both walking in different directions, with both our heads still turned towards each other. in a matter of seconds, she looks away and gets on the sidewalk and continues walking away from me, while all i do is stand there, completely immobile, looking like a fool. "hey! wait!" i call for her from across the street and without thinking it twice, i run after her. the moment i catch up and i'm finally walking right beside her, she turns her head to look at me with a expression that almost mirrors my own. confusion mixed with relief.
"you're the girl that-"
"yes, it's me, i'm sorry, i promise you i wasn't doing anything bad, and i'm not those things your boyfriend said about me" she says, cutting me off, not giving me enough time to come up with a response to her so i just say whatever.
"i.. listen, it's okay. you see, my friend poppy and i have been wanting to apologize for what happened that night. we tried asking costumers if they had seen you before or if they had any idea of who you were or where you lived, so we could send you a cute ‹we're sorry› gift basket."
i chew on my lower lip, watching her expression go from confusion to... embarrassment. her entire face turning red makes her look down at her feet while we both continue walking along the sidewalk.
"man, that's.. very sweet of you two, but i'm fine, i promise. you have nothing to worry about. so please let your boyfriend know that he and his family have nothing to worry about either" she stops walking and stands in front of me, looking around as if there's somewhere she needs to be right this second and i'm just.. being a distraction.
"i.. i really need to get going.." she informs me, shoving her hands in the front pockets of her denim overall, looking behind her.
god, wait is this it? do i let her go now? what about all the other things i need to ask her! crap, she's not much of a conversationalist, is she? but who am i kidding? i'm not one either.
"he's not my boyfriend" my response makes her furrow her brows in confusion and i continue... "ryan... the guy who was an absolute douche to you the other night. yeah, he's not my boyfriend. gross" i make a face and chuckle, trying to get her to do the same but she just goes "oh".
ok....
unsure of what to say or do next, i let my impulsiveness take the wheel. "are you busy?" i ask, hoping to hear a no come out of her mouth.
she has nice lips
um, anyway
"wait... like.. right now?"
"yes... right now. are you busy?"
she starts looking around again and hesitates to respond for a nanosecond before slowly shaking her head no while biting her lower lip.
perfect!
"i live like 10 mins away from here... and i'm making tacos tonight. yes, i know you don't want a gift basket, but could you at least accept one or two apology tacos from me? they're plant based but i promise they're good" i push my bottom lip in a pout which causes her to let out a soft laugh, followed by a deep sigh.
"so.. is that a yes?"
she bites her lip again and gives me a small nod.
"i'm vegan so that's fine and.. those look heavy as hell... so let me give you a hand" she says offering to help me with my bags, and i don't know why... but i let her. she's so nice.
"i'm sydney, by the way!"
"billie. i'd be polite and shake your hand if i could... but" she chuckles and immediately understand she says that only because she is carrying my bag.
my insides melt.
so she's real nice.. and funny.
this is going to be interesting
YOU ARE READING
MY SAFE HAVEN | billie eilish.
Fanfiction"little does she know she's my safe haven. i will never regret anything i've done just to keep her around. at least i hope i never have to."
