Lost in the Castle

~5~

"Katerina, why are you so angry?" I asked her once we were alone in the library that stood between the two chambers. I caressed her old arm, which she had laced through mine, trying to appease her.

It seemed to work because after a while, she responded, in a much calmer tone, "You scared me. I came to your chamber, and you were gone. They are all strange here. I... trust Lord Vlad," she explained, pausing slightly and making me feel that her 'trust' in him wasn't exceedingly deep, "but not his guests or the knights. I have already lost you once... You don't understand. Moreover, as I taught you when you were a young girl, a proper lady doesn't seek a company of a man undressed."

"Oh, Katerina, he is not 'a' man, he is 'my' man, do I remember right? And I'm not undressed," I said, indicating the blanket covering me from head to toe.

"You are not dressed either," she said, looking away from me and raising her chin high. I remembered how she had always done this when trying to make me understand that I wasn't behaving in a proper way. Poor old nurse, her voice was so serious that it made me giggle.

We walked through the short corridor and then entered my room. I made a beeline for the fireplace; the chambers of this castle were vast and chilly, making me feel cold despite the fur-lined blanket wrapped around my body.

Soon, I heard Katerina calling me from somewhere behind the other door I had noticed before; her voice coming muffled from the other chamber. Following her inside, I realised that this door opened to a spacious dressing room and through there to yet another room. Katerina's chamber, most likely.

"Shall I choose your dress for today, my lady, or you'll choose it yourself as usual?" she asked as I stopped in the middle of the dressing room. It was like walking inside a fairy tale or a dream.

"I'll choose my dress," I said dreamily, surprised and mesmerised by the infinity of colourful dresses, capes and coats, fur-lined, velvety soft and heavily embroidered, that lay spread out on large wooden chests placed along the walls of the chamber. I couldn't wait to try them all on.

"Katerina, where is my dress from last night?" I asked, remembering my book.

She passed me the burgundy coloured gown, and I checked its folds for a hidden pocket. Luckily, the book was there, I didn't imagine it. It was the only thing connecting me to my other reality, my parallel life. A proof of a sort that I was not... was I only dreaming? I shook my head and pinched my cheek, but nothing happened, I did not wake up.

Katerina was regarding my strange behaviour with a slight frown, clearly ready to tell me her most honest opinion about my mental health, should I ask. The only thing I knew with certainty right now was that I didn't want to hear it.

Sighing, I passed her my book and looked properly at the other dresses, touching the different fabrics they were made of, trying to remember the days when I used to wear them. Seeing that Vlad kept all of my things as they were while I had lived with him brought tears into my eyes, making my affection for him grow even more. No, I wasn't dreaming, I couldn't be. If nothing else, my feelings for him, threatening to choke me with their intensity, were too real.
That's the only proof you need, I told myself, taking a deep, calming breath.

My eyes fell on a moss-green velvet dress embroidered with gold. It was the only one I remembered. I picked it up and asked the old nurse, "May I wear this one today, Katerina? I think it used to be my favourite."

"Very well, my lady," she said, her eyes clouded over with memories. "You are right, you have always preferred this dress."

She made me return into my chamber, carrying the dress and a clean linen shirt for me, and I got changed by the fire. I enjoyed the feel of the fresh, crisp linen against my skin and the heavy, smooth, and warm velvet on top.