Lost in the Castle

~27~

I stood in front of the fire watching the low flames while he finished his bath, feeling perfectly warm now. The flames were not sufficient to warm up the room, but I did not need them anymore. A little, private fire seemed to be burning inside of me ever since he came back, its flames consuming, unextinguishable.

I let the damp blanket drop to the nest of furs on the floor, revelling in the heat spreading through my body.

Suddenly, he stood close behind me, warm and scented from the bath.

Don't think, just don't think, I told myself.

I closed my eyes and drew a deep, shaky breath as he wrapped one of his arms around my waist, drawing me closer. So close that the muscles of his chest pressed firmly against my back, shaping around my body, filling all gaps, leaving no space between us.

I felt his bare flesh through the thin fabric of my shirt, and my knees trembled, leaving me no choice but to lean into him. He held me tight, as he ran his other hand across my cheek, letting it fall to my neck, travelling lightly down my arm, leaving a trail of gooseflesh in its wake, and finally coming to rest on my hip.

I let my head fall back against his shoulder as his lips dropped a line of featherlight kisses along the column of my neck, then, following the trail of his hand, along my collarbone.

"Samara... " he whispered, his voice hoarse.

"No. Not now," I whispered back, not wanting to think about anything.

This was not the right moment for words or thoughts. Or memories. I was doing so much better without any of them for the moment. The only thing I cared about was the here and the now.

I brought my hand to his arm wrapped around my waist and added, not quite trusting my voice, "Whatever it is, you can tell me later."

Then we were next to his bed, so fast I didn't notice how we got there, my heart pounding in my throat, my shirt pooling at my feet. His lips were suddenly on mine, asking, claiming... The coolness of the sheets against the backs of my knees made me shiver. The feeling was so pleasantly unexpected on my bare skin, an intense contrast to his unusually warm hands, making my skin burn wherever they touched me, like a lick of flame.

Lacing my fingers through his still damp hair, I pulled him nearer, making him follow me, never breaking the kiss as he lowered me on the bed. I let my other hand travel around the expanse of his body, wandering, rediscovering, exploring, remembering... allowing him to do the same in his turn.

"Don't ever leave me again, promise me... " I whispered, much later, when I could spare enough breath to talk.

"I love you, Samara," he whispered back, gathering me into him, making my head rest on his shoulder.

That's not what I asked, I thought, my mind too tired to protest, too distracted by his hand caressing my hair, my own arm resting on his chest, not sure anymore what it was that I asked exactly.

I was drifting off to sleep, cocooned in his embrace, lulled by the erratic beat of his heart when his whispered words reached me one more time, "It's been a hell, all those days without you."

"I love you, too," I whispered, my voice trailing off, even as I realised that he had been only speaking to himself, the thought confirmed by his soft laughter as he pulled the blankets higher around me, covering me up to my chin.

I woke up in the heart of the night, afraid not to find him by my side, thinking that he would be gone again, that the previous night had only been a dream. But he was there, cuddled next to me, his front to my back, one arm wrapped around my body, sleeping... Sleeping! I had never seen him asleep since I came back here.