Lost in the Castle

~9~

I did not understand anything anymore. Radu? Why? I was feeling scared, shocked, and incredibly cold.

My body felt heavy and lifeless, and even though I wanted to go back to my bed and hide under the covers, my feet wouldn't listen to me. I only made it as far as the library's tiny fireplace. Then my legs gave way, and I collapsed in a heap in front of it, my blanket pooling around me like spilt quicksilver. Sitting on the cold stone floor, shivering, I hugged my knees and curled up around myself, trying to look as small as possible. To disappear.

My fear was gone now, as suddenly as it had come, along with all of my other sensations. And for a while, I couldn't feel anything. I was empty, drained of all emotions, exactly like once I had been drained of my blood, my life.

It was him, he did it. Radu.

I didn't hear him coming, but suddenly Vlad was there, kneeling in front of me, cupping my face in his cool hands. His lips were moving, but I couldn't hear his words, I was in a bubble where no one could reach me.

Watching his beautiful face, his loving, now frightened eyes, I realised that my behaviour was the reason for his anxiety. I was scaring him. Taking a deep breath as if coming up from underwater, I forced myself to start thinking again. Snap out of it! I screamed at myself mentally, and then his voice finally reached me.

"Samara, what happened?" he demanded, desperation seeping through his voice. "Talk to me, please!"

I think I've just seen the man who killed me once, that's all. But instead of telling him this, I only shook my head.

According to Katerina, my killer had never been caught, they had only found my lifeless body at the edge of the forest. I hadn't seen the man in the face, I had no proof, I couldn't really be sure... or could I? His voice, the arrogant tone he used every time he spoke... I shuddered. He was Vlad's brother, the man I was supposed to marry once. Maybe it's my fault, my refusal, that made him become so cold and cruel, I thought.

How could I accuse Radu, now, of something that had happened some six hundred years ago? A what? Just the idea sounded crazy. Six hundred years. I laughed, then started crying, scared, desperate, frustrated, and helpless tears rolling down my cheeks. Great, a fit of hysterics is exactly what I need now.

Vlad pulled me on his lap and wrapped his arms around me, whispering small, soothing words. "I'm here Samara, you are safe. Please don't cry," he said after a long while. Gradually, his voice worked its magic on me, and my tears and sobs subsided.

I kissed him, a wordless thank you for his love and understanding, and even managed to smile. He smiled back, looking relieved.

"What happened?" he repeated his question.

"I had a bad dream. I came here to look for you and I saw... your brother," I said, unable to pronounce his name. "I thought he had left..."

"Me, too. I had told him to leave," Vlad said. "Did he scare you? Did you hear what he said?" he asked, alarmed.

Some of Radu's cruel words came back to me, making the short hair on my arms and neck stand erect. I despised the man.

"Only a few words," I said, hating myself for lying to him. But I didn't want him to worry.

Vlad didn't look convinced but didn't press the subject.

"How are you feeling? Do you want to lay down?" he asked, searching my eyes for answers.

I shook my head no. If I went to bed now, I would only think about it again. I stood up to show him that I was fine.

He stood, too, and said, "Let's get you dressed then. I want to show you something."