LIVE TO LOVE: ARRANGED

Annulment of Marriage

The dark grey clouds collided together and growled restlessly as if matching the intensity of his restlessness and rage. He was suffocating on the hurt, smoldering in anger and almost choking on the pain.  The storm of his soul was stronger than the storm brewing in outside world. The defeaning sounds of his silent cries were stronger than the loud orchestra of clouds and rain. Lying in the floor bed of balcony, Sameer changed his side as the frustration kicked in, and patter of rain drops on glass sheet of walls irritated him at his most. It was more than 30 minutes now, when he was seething in the flames of anger.

"Aise kaise usne... Jab bharosa hi nhi karti to pyar aur shadi ka kya matlab... Naina, tum.... Mai jhuta lagta hu use... Dhokebaaj samajhti hai mujhe... Naina, itna hi jana mujhe, jaan... Mai to tumhe khud se, apni jaan se jyada... Jaan ho tum Meri... Itna bhi vishwas nhi kya...",he was mumbling, arguing to himself and to her. But not wanted to say anything verbally. Her questions, her lack of trust effected him deeply, and now his heart was not ready to listen anything. He wanted to be healed, to be consoled, to be loved and all by her only. His anger and disappointment was not gonna end so soon this time.

Here in room, her condition was no less. She somehow gathered her crashed self from floor and walked to the little couch and sat like falling. Dropping her face in her palms, she wanted to cry, to cry endlessly, but wiping her face, she tried to think positive, she tried to stay strong, she tried to look into the matter from a different view, she tried everything she could, she tried very hard, but her courage was deceiving her every single time. Her eyes fell on a frame of his photo, and she restlessly got up to hold that. suddenly a packet from side table fell as she got up with a sudden jerk. She frozed seeing two movie cassettes slipped out from that. Her eyes widened as realized that this was a Friday night, and he definitely came back from office with some plans. She recalled when last week in Delhi, they both missed their in-house movie date. With shivering hands she lifted the cassettes, see the cover and recalled their sweet moment of last movie date, when she wanted to see only Salman. And tonight he brought both movies of Salman only. Her tears once again found the way of her eyes and she cried realizing that how he always fulfilled her every wish.

She had hurt him knowingly or unknowingly, but her pain was not less too. She needed him this time most, she needed him to wipe her tears, she needed that strong shoulders to cry upon, she needed those fingers to careressed her wounds, she needed him and actually craved for him in that moment.

The big room decorated all not on the pieces of their choices but their happy and beautiful memories now. Suddenly the room had started to haunt her, she felt like everything was laughing and mocking on her miseries, no not miseries but stupidity. A realization dawned and she mumbled keeping her palm on her mouth,"Maine unko aise kaise... Bhagwanji, ye kya kiya maine... Agar unko whi sab karna hota jo mummyji ne kha to fr ye kamra, wo gifts, wo sab... Mujhe unse baat karni chahiye...". Restlessly she moved towards balcony, but stopped in midway and mumbled again,"lekin agar wo sab galat hai, to mummyji ne aisa q kha... Unhe kya jarurat thi... Aj tak to kabhi kuch nhi kha, fr achanak se aise kaise...". Once again the doubts caught her senses and she swayed between trust and doubts. Helplessly she threaded her fingers in her hairs and looked up, as if asking help from her bhagwanji. Even after all the suspicions, insecurities and distrust, she had an strong urge to talk to him, and heaving some deep breaths, she wiped her tears and moved to reach him.

She unlatched the door slowly, though he locked the door, but conveniently forgot that it could open from both side, or perhaps never wanted to close all the ways for her to get him.