{NEWT'S POV}
After that night, I did what I said I would. I woke up, went through the day, and fell asleep. This easy routine continued for 5 days, and the only place that made me insane was the maze. We never found her body. It haunted me to know that the grievers had a feast that night, her shrieking and sobs to only be heard by the absorbing walls. Alby almost went in with us, but the idea of him finding her instead of me was to much to bear. A runner would find her, if we ever did find her. On the sixth day, I awoke and pulled on my runner gear, and was getting ready to step inside when Alby came up to me.
"Gmornin'."
I nodded at him and knelt to tie my shoelaces. He got on his knees and waited until I finished.
"What in the ever-loving glade do you buggin' want, Alby?"
"Give up the search."
I stood up to my full height, and looked him straight in the eye.
"What does that mean?"
"Ember. She's dead. Stop. Looking. It's over."
I staggered back, feeling like I just got stabbed. How could he say that? Then again, he never had our relationship. He never felt the spark and electricity that was there. Always.
"Sorry mate, won't do that."
"It's over. There is nothing more to it. Ok? She is dead, and i'm suprised you aren't more upset. Face it, Newt."
I squinted, and faced the walls. I heard Alby walking away, and slid back against the walls. How could he say that? How could he say that? It was unbeliveable that he gave up so fast. Was it the same person that had told me that he liked her? It was crazy. But he was right. How was I keeping it all in? Oh! Right! I wasn't. I was ripping at the seams. Falling apart. Life seemed, unlivable. The walls rumbled and I pulled away. Minho reared up next to me, and nodded.
"Ready to go?"
"As i'll ever be."
We took off, and and split up. Again, I was left to my own thoughts. Was she killed here? Did the walls absorb every scream and sob here? Shaking my head, and running faster and faster, I faced the harsh reality. My thoughts would never go away. Ember had left her mark. Screw her. She stamped her legacy on our brains, never to appear again? The only way to escape her was death.
Death.
It didn't sound that bad. I mean, what was left for life? At least when there was Ember, there was Ember. But now, there was nothing. No escape, no love, nothing. Just the harsh truth that we would die here, and there was no. Way. Out. Nothing. My running slowed as I started to examine the walls. Tall. Really tall. Like, fall off and die tall.
How could I get to the top?
Vines.
I totally stopped, and tugged on the vines on the wall. Strong. They wouldn't let me fall. So I pulled myself up one foot, another, another. I was maybe ten feet in the air when I heard my name.
"Newt? You ok?"
I turned my head around and saw Minho stitching his eyebrows together. He was aviously was confused. So was I, to one degree. What was I doing?
What I had to do. Probably.
"Seeing how well I can see if i'm higher."
"Careful! You could fall and do some damage!"
"That's the point,"
I whispered under my breath.
"What?"
"Nothing!"
He nodded and started running.
"Hey!"
Minho turned around.
"I'm gonna try a new route today. If I don't run out with you, come find me over here. Okay?"
"Whatever you say, Captain."
I nodded.
He took off. I kept climbing. Eventually, I was completly winded. There was a ledge small enough to walk on, so I climbed onto it. It was a good 100 feet in the air, so it was good. I stared at the gorund. With each beat of my heart said something different.
Ember.
Home.
Dead.
Gone.
Forever.
Life.
Death.
Stuck.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
A slight wind blew through my hair, and I tried thinking of before. Hard.
Nothing.
That was my life now, wasn't it? Nothing. Not knowing anything, not feeling anything, not having anyone. My life was falling apart and no one noticed. Minho even knew about Ember and I, and he didn't know! This is a good idea. No one will miss me. Ember isn't here, and there is another runner. Everyone will be fine. I'm not needed. Never was, really. I was nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
The ground came speeding toward me as that singular word echoed through my brain.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
"NEWT!"
Nothing.
{hope this broke your heart guyssss❤️ and dOES ANYONE WATCH THE 100 BC I JUST GOT INTO IT AND OH MY DOG GOOD LORD BELLAMY IS PERFECT
and yeah
this chapter is dedicated to ieesha cooper (aisha kapoor) bc she is perfect and my best friend and when i work on this she encourages me so ily aisha}
