Discover Twilight

chapter xlii

"Hey Mind Reader, I've got a serious inquiry and I totally understand if you'd rather not answer," I tell Edward as we all watch Charlie drive away, back into town.

Edward raises a bronze colored eyebrow at me, clearly curious to hear my question, "What would you like to know, Kota?"

"OH, THIS HAS GOTTA BE GOOD," Jacob chuckles, hearing what I was thinking.

"So you know the phrase, seeing your life flash before your eyes?"

Edward grimly chuckles nodding, obviously understanding where I'm going with it, "You wanna know if I've ever seen someone else's eyes flash before their eyes while I killed them?"

The Cullen coven went silent, watching the exchange between Edward and I. I nodded my head solemnly, somewhat grateful that he has excellent intuition and  I didn't have to actually ask, "You don't have to answer though."

"It's okay. To answer your question, Kota, yes I have. When I drank human blood, I only killed murderers and rapists to justify my actions. But nevertheless, when I drank their blood their thoughts and memories flashed in their heads until their dying breath," Edward almost whispers, loud enough for all of us to hear what he has to say.

Edward looks at Jacob, hearing the thoughts he and I shared about Edward's answer, "Yes, it is very traumatic. It's one of the reasons I returned to Carlisle and stopped drinking human blood. I've seen the beauty of life through their eyes. Ranging from the laughter of an infant to how the sun catches over a sunflower."

"I'm sorry I asked," I whisper, almost inaudible to my own ears.

Carlisle swiftly moves from the far side of the deck to my side. He holds out his hands offering a hug, knowing that I don't like them to touch me. I nod, allowing him to wrap his cold arms around me. "Kota, it's okay. We've all made mistakes and are more than willing to tell you about them."

"Seriously Kota, it's okay. You asked out of curiosity, with no malintent. Don't feel bad," Edward cooed beside Bella.

I step out of the patriarch's arms, looking at the coven of vampires who I've slowly accepted as my family, "Thank you for answering, though I fear that now every time I see a sunflower or a baby laugh I'll think of someone getting the life sucked out of them. I'll see you later, I've gotta get home. You coming Jake?"

Jake shakes his head, "Nah, I'm going to stay here. See you later."

It's weird how my cousin-in-law talking about watching the life flash before his victims eyes can make me think about what I'd see in my dying moments. Would I see the days of soccer with my mom in Florida, or when Jake and I were little and would play in the mud while Billy and Charlie would fish. Would it be Sam and Emily laughing on the beach or Embry and Seth goofing around at the bonfires? I'll see Quil and Embry chasing me with the blue paint, the Pack and Charlie at my graduation, and seeing Bella walk down the aisle. Jake playing with Renesmee in the Cullen's family room, Charlie and Billy yelling at the game with me, the lights peaking through my curtains right as the sun rises. And I'll see Paul. I'll see him falling off the window ledge with me the day Harry Clearwater passed, the smile he had when I was playing violin before the battle with Victoria's Army, and I'll hear his laugh.

"Eww, you smell like those leeches," Paul hisses as I walk into my house, leaving my shoes at the front door.

All the boys are hanging out in my living room watching old movies while Emily cooks something delicious smelling in the kitchen. "Need I remind you that you're in my house?" I taunt sitting in between Embry and Paul, stealing the cookie from Embry's hand, "Thanks I'm starving."

"Hey, that's my cookie," he whines, pouting like a five year old.

I lick the cookie and wave it in front of his face, "Not anymore."

He snatches the cookie from my hand, shrugs and proceeds to eat the cookie that is now covered in my salvia. I look at him horrified, not thinking he'd actually eat it, which amuses him. "Like I said, my cookie," he laughs with his mouth full.

Emily calls the boys into the dining room for dinner but I stay behind to talk to Sam. We haven't really had the chance to talk since he issued the 'Kill Bella and the Baby' mandate. Not that there hasn't been a chance to discuss it but I, like Paul and Sam, am a hothead and don't really forgive easily. Forgiving him for shutting me out after mom died was easy because I was more upset by his actions rather than truly hurt but the second he tried to kill my family, that was not and is not something I could easily forgive him for. "Can I please talk to you, Dakota," Sam asks, seeing that I didn't go running for food like the boys despite the fact I just openly expressed how hungry I am. I nodded, hearing the boys shuffle about from the kitchen and into the dining room, knowing all too well that every single one of them are listening in on the conversation.

"I'm really sorry about the whole trying to use my being Alpha to make you kill your family. I know that you're extremely loyal, to a fault even, and would have never let it happen but my stubbornness blinded me. I'm really glad everything worked out, that Bella's not dead and her baby made it too," Sam mumbles, folding his hands and placing them on his lap.

I'm not the only one he should be apologizing to, he also really needs to apologize to the Cullens, Jake, Leah and Seth because his mandate pissed off a lot of people. "I could see where you were coming from, but it doesn't make what you did okay. You know better than anyone that I wanted to kill the Cullens, but not like that and not with her getting killed in the process. She means too much to me but more importantly, I couldn't have that on my conscience especially since I know what that would do to Charlie. "

I leave him sitting in the chair, alone in the living room, to get myself some food and perspective. Emily hugged me when I walk into my kitchen, handing me the plate she set aside for me, "He truly does feels really bad about all of this. He just wants to make this right somehow."

"I know," I whisper, leaving the kitchen into the dining room but I'm blocked by Embry and Paul, an odd pairing might I add. Honestly, I think Embry may be a little too invested in whether or not I give Paul a chance.

"Are you alright?" Paul asks tilting his head to the side. They know how I'm feeling and they heard the whole conversation so them asking is redundant, sweet but redundant.

"Yeah I'm fine. I've gotten a lot of perspective these past few days."

Paul furrows his brow, not quite understanding what I meant by that, but Embry smirked while wiggling his eyebrows at me, knowing he was right about this. "What do you mean by that, Kota?" Embry asks excitedly, taking my plate of food from me.

"Yeah what does that mean? And I'm not leaving you alone until I get an answer I believe because I know you aren't fine," Paul says but my answer was simple, I didn't even have to say anything.

I roll my eyes at my Imprinter, "You're such an idiot, Lahote."

Before he could say anything, I crash my lips onto his, twisting my fingers in his black hair, catching him off guard. Jared, Quil and Embry hoot and holler at Paul, happy for him because he seemed to have finally convinced me to not hate him and Emily happily giggles from the kitchen. We pull apart, him looking at me like I'm the only thing in the world that matters, "Woah. Maybe I should be an idiot more often."

I snort as he pulls my waist closer to him, "That's not possible. You're an idiot everyday." Sam's barking laugh was loud from the kitchen, watching us with joy.

"Wow, rude," Paul whines.

I kiss the end of his nose before taking my food back from Embry, "You love me anyways."

"Yes I do."