𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘁... 𝗽𝘂𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲. [roman kemp]

𝑿𝑰𝑰𝑰

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒕𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒑𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒑 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆. There was a mixture of emotions ranging from happiness to tiredness, hunger, and disappointment. Lana felt quite happy, herself; her trial had not been too horrific, she had managed to complete it, and she would be eating a roast dinner tonight.

She was worried about Roman, however. She could tell how disappointed he was in himself and hoped she'd be able to make him feel better. Looking around camp to try and find him, Lana realised he was sitting up on the balcony that overlooked the whole camp. Walking up the wooden steps, she saw that Ian was sitting there too. Lana joined them on the sofa, settling down on Roman's other side.

"Are you alright, Ro?" Ian was asking as she sat down.

"Feel a bit shit, innit," Roman shrugged, looking at his boots.

"You did everything you could," offered Ian sympathetically.

Roman swung his legs idly, scuffing the wooden planks underneath them with his boot. "Yeah, I guess. I just need a moment to get over it."

Ian shot Lana a slightly unsure look over Roman's hunched shoulders. "I'll leave you with Lana, alright?" he decided, standing up and glancing at Lana, who nodded. "She'll look after you."

"You get it, right?" Roman asked when Ian had left. "It's just... it sucks, when you feel like you've let people down. Everyone else was doing so well, and I just completely missed an open goal."

"Yeah, I get it," she said, rubbing his back gently with her hand. "I could tell you all sorts of things you already know - it was a hard challenge, you did your best, nobody else could've done it... but I know that doesn't make it feel any better."

"Exactly," he replied, leaning back with a sigh and resting his head on Lana's shoulder. "I'm just so mad at myself. Three people won't be eating tonight because of me. Because I couldn't do it."

"Here's the thing," Lana said patiently. "I know you feel like shit, and you probably will for a little while. But it's not fair to say you let anyone down, because that's not true. You didn't let anyone down because at least you gave it a fucking go. If you hadn't bothered, if you'd just said 'fuck it, I can't do this' - then I wouldn't be saying this to you. But you gave it your all and that's all anyone can ask. You didn't let anyone down and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot."

"Maybe," he said. "I know what you're saying, but I can't help but feel like shit."

"It'd be weird if you didn't," she reassured him, stroking his arm absent-mindedly. "But you have to remember, nobody else cares as much as you yourself do. Does James care that you couldn't quite get all the stars? What about Jacqueline? And as for Andy, Cliff and Ian... yeah, they're probably wishing they had roast dinners right now. But I promise you, none of them think any less of you just because they'll be a bit hungrier than the rest of us. And what about me? Do you think I'll hold it against you that you didn't get all the stars on one Bushtucker Trial?"

"No," he said glumly, but she knew he was listening.

"Look, Ro. This is one challenge out of god knows how many. Everyone is gonna have times where they succeed, and times where they fail. And nobody can hold it against them when they do fail. This shit is designed to be difficult, everyone knows that. Come tomorrow when we're all tucking into a meal of giraffe or whatever the hell they send us next, Andy and Cliff and Ian won't even be thinking about the roast dinners. Okay?"

Roman said nothing for a moment. Then he sat back up and looked at Lana. "You're amazing, you know," he said after a second. "Have I ever told you that? Thank god I've got you here to cheer me up."