Zadr Oneshots

As a celebration of 680 reads i write more lemons

So I'm just gonna write short lemon prompt fics.
*So WARNING there will be some lemonish content ahead, if that isn't your jam, skip the chap. If it is, enjoy your lemon jam with some super toast and enjoy!*
Also I got these prompts from an otp prompt generator and I have like 205 zadr prompts saved, if y'all want some just ask.
Prompt:Zim giving Dib a striptease
This was definitely a trap, certainly a plot to kill him, or he was dreaming! Yeah, that must be it. Dibble Membrane had to be dreaming up this crazy scenario. Zim smirked and leaned forward to close Dib's open jaw. A sliver of a jade shoulder visible above the slipping fabric of the loose uniform.
"Why so silent? Gorgasplorch got your tasting organ?"
Dib swallowed down some spit completely confused as to why Zim had crawled through his window and started taking off his clothes.
"Why are you here Zim?"
Zim leaned back abruptly looking dumbfounded at Dib's confused and almost timid question.
"Isn't it obvious?"
Zim's face was a purplish blue and his antenna went back slowly. He didn't want to say it outloud, it was already enough to admit to himself that he had fallen for his enemy, he couldn't possibly tell his nemesis. He had planned on them being  enemy-mates, or enemies with benefits as the humans said, and shoving down his actual feelings till they shriveled and died.
"No, is this a ploy to kill me or something or am I just dreaming?"
Something clicked in Zim's brilliant mind as the human rattled off, of course, if he faked this as a dream Zim could easily try again without the embarrassment and instead plant some sort of thought modifier to use on Dib. Zim bounced his shoulder up , slightly pushing up the previously droopy fabric and jumped back out the window as Dib finished rambling and looked around confused as to where Zim went. Zim would have to try again later, but first he had to convince Dib that what just occurred was a dream. A little acting and he'd be there, but still tonight was a failure, better luck next time.

Prompt: Dib is cooking and Zim comes behind him, slips his arms around Dib's waist, and tries to get them in the mood for sex.
Put an F in the chat for Zim being horny and bad at everything
Dib stood at the stove frying up some pancakes for Gir when he felt arms wrapped around his waist and a cheek pressed into his back.
"Hi Zim."
Zim didn't reply but rather rubbed his face into Dib's back and chittered.
"Do you, want something from me or something? Because you're not being very concise."
Zim groaned and reached forward to turn off the stove.
"Hey! I was using that!"
Zim didn't respond and instead gripped Dib's wrist and dragged him to the couch, throwing him down and plopping on his lap. Dib crosses his arms and raised an eyebrow.
"What do you want Zim? I'm not in the mood for your antics."
Zim shoved his head into Dib's chest and rolled his hips slowly. Dib let out a sharp intake of breath and grabbed onto Zim's shoulders.
"What the hell Zim. You walk up to me, drag me away from my cooking and start to grind on me? All without saying a word? What the hell do you want you bug?"
Zim pouted. He let out a sad chirrup and Dib groaned exasperated.
"Words please, I don't speak insect."
Zim clicked angrily and tried to shape his sounds into coherent English rather than primal irken, but struggled to remember how. Usually Zim would switch to primal irken if he was in desperation or intoxicating bliss.
"Dib."
Zim had finally worked his mate's name out and butted his head against Dib's chest. Dib blinked tiredly, he was too exhausted for this. Dib wormed his arms around Zim's bottom and Zim looked at Dib ecstatically. Dib lifted Zim off his lap and stood before setting Zim back on the couch and patting his head for a few seconds.
"I'm just gonna go sleep, you're being weird."
Dib walked to the elevator sluggishly and Zim sighed in disappointment. Well that was a failure in every way.

Prompt:Zim wants sex but Dibs a poo poo face and makes him beg.
Dib was lazing about the elevator couch checking his phone and idly kicking his leg when the elevator suddenly shot down to a lower base level, 6 or 7 B if Dib had to guess based on the speed and time of the descent. Dib heard the loud stamp of boots and looked up to see an aggravated Irken marching towards him. Zim plopped down, balancing on Dib's knees.
"Mate me."
Dib blinked up at his boyfriend, comprehending what the alien had said. Dib shifted to a more upright position, but still a rather relaxed one.
"Why should I?"
Zim snapped open his previously closed eyes and sputtered angrily.
"W-why!? Zim commanded you!"
Dib idly traced circles on Zim's thigh and hummed non committedly.
"What would I get out of it?"
"Why Zim of course."
Zim rebuttled pridefully.
"But there's no fun in that..."
Dib whispered and he drew back his hand from Zim's thigh.
"Beg for it."
Zim turned his head and huffed.
"No."
Dib gave a mad disappointed look and tsked shaking his head.
"Try again."
"NO! Zim will not be reduced to mewling at his enemies' feet!"
"And yet here you are."
Dib purred our as he rested his cheeks in his hands.
"Beg."
Zim was about to answer when Dib cut in,
"Beg or I'm leaving you all alone with your little problem."
Zim clenched his fists, his face an angry and embarrassed purplish blue.
"Please."
He murmured out.
"Please what?"
Zim mumbled something under his breath and Dib learned forward,
"What was that? You're going to have to speak up space boy."
The Irken took in a deep breath and repeated slightly louder,
"Please mate me my taller..."
Dib immediately threw off his jacket and dived down to capture the alien's lips with his own. Zim in turn latched his legs around Dib's waist and buried his gloved claws into his mate's fluffy hair. Zim purred into the kiss as Dib ran his hands over his hips and back. Zim broke the kiss and grinned as Dib tore off his shirt and wiggled out of his jeans. Dib looked around and gently held Zim's chin, turning the alien towards him.
"As much as I'd love to take you right here right now, I don't think you'd want us to stain the couch."
"Downstairs it is then."
Zim uttered as the elevator lowered them down to the nest level. This would be a busy night.

Prompt: Zim and Dib the morning after having sex, Dib's taking a shower and when he comes out, Zim notices how the droplets slide down his skin and ask if they can go again.
Zim woke up feeling first of all dirty and secondly sore. Zim rolled over slightly, tangling his antenna into Dib's hair as he did.
"Mmm, Dib."
Dib mumbled quietly in response and moved his head slightly, Zim tried again to wake his mate, louder this time.
"Stinky, get up."
Dib didn't stir and the irken growled to himself before flicking Dib's wrist sharply. Dib's eyes shot open at the pain and he sat up abruptly looking around frantically before slowly calming down and finally slumping against the backboard of the bed and rubbing the sleep out of his whole face.
"Good you're up, I'm dirty and I can't walk."
"Okay?"
"Carry me."
Dib sighed but scooped up his lover and traversed to the closest bathroom. As much as he enjoyed some good lovemaking followed by slumber, the gooey and crusty leftover ooze over him was a pain in the ass.
"Run me a bath, you take a shower, you rancid vertabrate."
Dib set Zim down on the counter and sunk to his bare knees to put in the stopper and turn on the flow of cleaning solvent. While the thundering of the liquid hitting the tub filled the room Dib reached beneath the counter for his usual over night bag. The bag had everything he might need, hair and toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, body wash, conditioner, a bit of cash, and some spare condoms. Dib grabbed the hair brush, shampoo, body wash and conditioner before stepping into the shower and turning on the solvent.
While Dib showered Zim scrubbed vigorously at his sore body to cleanse it of any possible contaminants or leftover body fluids from last night. Once satisfied with the level of clean Zim scooted forward slowly and pulled the plug to drain the possibly infected water. By the time that the tub had finished draining the shower door opened and Dib stepped out, hair sopping, smelling fresh and clean. Zim ran his ocular implants over the human all his own and lost his breath as he focused on the small droplets traveling to low of his back. Zim hyper fixated on the way the solvent flowed down his sculpted calves and scarred shoulders. Dib turned his head at Zim jolting Zim out of his stupor. Dib's wet cowlick was plastered against his face and the short stubble framed his chocolate eyes stunningly.
"What's up?"
Dib asked his voice up half an octave more than usual in confusion and slight worry. Zim blinked his implants and blurted,
"Can we go again?"
"¿Que?"
"Can you mate me again?"
"Right now?"
Zim nodded, Dib looked like he was trying to solve an impossibly hard riddle.
"But we just cleaned, wouldn't we have to clean all over again?"
Zim strode up to Dib with his pak legs to avoid any unnecessary pain and dropped down after latching his arms around Dib's still wet neck.
"Who cares? If we're dirty we'll just clean again, simple as that."
"Right here? In the bathroom? With a toilet?"
Zim rolled his eyes and scooted up a little to not fall off, Dib supporting him with his hands beneath him.
"I don't care stupid, I just want you and I want you now."
Well Dib couldn't not fuck him after those words left the alien's mouth, and he did.