Dreamt of Heaven

Chapter 18

Lexa POV
I reluctantly pulled myself away from Clarke and somehow found my way out of the room. I closed the door slowly not wanting to make a lot of noise. I made my way downstairs after noticing that Clarke needed a break from everything going on. She didn't state it but everything in her body language said so. The way she tried to focus her gaze on something else, the way she pulled away from my caress, everything screamed that she needed to be left alone.

I made my way to the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket to glance at the time and noticed that it was earlier than I expected. I took out the creamer as my thoughts began to swarm my mind. My mind flashing back to Clarke crying in my arms as she reminisced about her deceased father. The unrelenting guilt that has had a hold of her for far too long.

She spoke with such sorrow and sadness as she recalled the events of everything related to her father's death. Her eyes had lost all hope and light as she began to talk about him. She spoke with such pain that it caused my aching to return with unrelenting force. Another reason to leave the room, although I would've stayed if Clarke would've asked.

The coffeemaker goes off causing me to snap out of my thoughts. I looked around and noticed that I hadn't grabbed any mugs before I began to ponder. Once they were in my possession, I poured the coffee into the mugs. I grabbed the creamer and poured some into one while I left the other completely black.

I pulled my phone back out to find that a good 15 minutes had passed. I grabbed the two mugs and made my way back upstairs, stopping momentarily to grab Clarke's phone. I slowly opened the door and I saw her laying on the bed, her breathing steady. I walked over to the nightstand, put the two coffee cups down quietly before walking into the closet, and grabbed the shirt I was wearing earlier.

I walked quietly back to the bed and slowly sit down on the edge of it, not wanting to stir what seems to be a sleeping Clarke. I brought my coffee mug to my lips, took a small sip, and willed myself to stay awake and not crawl under the covers beside Clarke.

I put my mug back on the nightstand before fully getting back onto the bed. I sit up, my back resting against the headboard, legs crossed in front of me, before pulling out my phone and looking at notifications.

I started answering back a couple of not so important emails and messages while I waited for Clarke to wake back up. Time flew by and I was so caught up on looking over a new policy I didn't realize Clarke rolling over to be closer to me.

"Hey you," Clarke said in an adorable sleepy voice making me smile. Adorable sleepy? What the hell... I looked away from my phone and down at Clarke. Even after sleeping she managed to look absolutely stunning. How is that even possible?

"Hey, how did you sleep?" I said as I looked down at her drooping eyes. She struggled to keep her eyes open as I spoke causing me to chuckle. She was fighting sleep against what seemed to be a losing battle against sleep.

"Hate to admit it... but this is the best sleep I've had in what feels like forever," she said while blushing lightly and smiling softly. God, I could stare at her like this till the end of time.

"Oh, really?" I said teasing her causing her to blush even more. I said as there was no stoic mask nearby although I shouldn't be in this situation. But there's something about it, something mysterious and attractive about it.

She looked away before responding, "Yeah, it must be your very luxurious bed..." she said avoiding all eye contact as she also tried to avoid the truth.