𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍

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ᴠᴏᴛᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛ

𝐋𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐀𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐃𝐨𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧

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𝐋𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐀𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐃𝐨𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧

Seeing Kamari like this triggered me. I just wanted us to talk at this point cuz the way he's acting ain't sitting well wimme.

He finished brushing his teeth and wiped his face with a towel before coming to lay next to me on the bed. There was a bit of silence before he broke it.

"Can I lay on you?" He asked me and I nodded.

He got comfortable on my chest before he started talking.

"I saw my momma today. She was at my granny's house and my granny had called me to come there. When I saw her, I blacked out and I wanted to leave. Granny wanted me to stay and listen to her but ian wanna so I just up and left. That shit fucked me up so bad Lani. I just didn't know any other way to cope wit this." He rambled.

To be honest, I never heard him talk about his mom. Since he never spoke on it, I never brought it up.

"Lani ion wanna lose you. I swear you forreal the best thing that's ever happened to me, other than Amora and my granny, of course, but I swear ion wanna let you go." He stated as he stared at me intensely.

This is making me nervous. It was as if he wanted to say something but couldn't say it out or didn't have the right words to.

"Mari what is it? You making me nervous. I promise whatever it is, I won't judge you Mari, you know this. I would be the last person to ever judge you." I said as I looked at him.

He looked scared, nervous, vulnerable. I could tell he was trying to hold that vulnerability back. If he doesn't wanna talk to someone who's willing to listen, then ion know what'll happen.

"Kamari look at me, I promise whatever it is, I won't say nun. I'll wait until after you done and I'll say what I have to say, aight? I won't ever think differently of you, Kamari. I'm willing to listen, so please talk. Ion like you holding all your hurt inside, that just destroys you more. So please, let it go." I begged.

"And don't try to do that hood nigga shit, aight? Don't hide yo feelings. If you wanna cry, then cry. Don't beat yourself down just cuz you crying. Don't call yourself a bitch just cuz you crying. It takes a man to cry, Kamari, but it also takes a man to talk about his feelings and what he's going through."

He sighed and nodded, sitting up.

"I had an older brother, his name was Isreal. We weren't close, in fact we would fight everyday. Anytime I brought a girl around, he would either take them from me or scare them away by telling them about the disorders that I had, well have. I met this girl one time, her name was Layonna. We dated for about 3 years. She was 15 and I was 16. She was everything to me and vice versa. I guess that all changed when I started bringing her around Isreal.

Whenever I wasn't home, they would always fuck and when I came back, they always acted like nothing happened. I guess I noticed a few things but ian think nun of it. I came home from the trap one day only to be met with boffum fucking in my bed. I was so pissed so I shot my brother in his leg. I didn't do anything else but I went downstairs and grabbed a light and some fuel and lit the house on fire." He revealed everything and I was shocked.

On the news, they said they found two bodies and they didn't know how the fire started. Since Isreal was 18, he had his own house and stuff so that's where I stayed. He was my mom's first child, then two years later, she had me, then had Amora, but with another man. She claimed she was "mentally, physically, and financially unstable" but ion believe that shit. It's always been me and me alone my whole life, Lani. I swear it wasn't my fault that I killed them. I didn't want to, I swear bruh. I was just hurt and wanted them to feel what I felt." He said as tears began to well up in his eyes.

"That shit still haunts me till this day bro. I always dream bout it and I cant seem to get it out my head. I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind and I'm slowly dying." He said and began to cry.

I brought him closer to my chest and rubbed his head.

"No no Kamari, don't say that, okay. Ion think nun different of you. You can cry baby, let it out. Look, ian gon tell you no sorry or that its gon be okay cuz I feel as if that's what you wanna hea right now. But, it will get better baby, you just gotta work through this. That's what I'm here for. Talk to me, always talk to me. You know I'll drop anything fa you. Lean and popping percs is not the way to turn for help. You have me, Meech, Don, Shoota dumbass, Kia, Liyah, and your grandma. Even my mom would be willing to listen. So please, I'm begging you don't do that shit no more. If there's something on yo mind, talk to any of us. Aight?"

"Yeah. I bet I look like a lil bitch right now." He said and chuckled, wiping his tears.

"Kamari what I say? I swear y'all hood niggas think y'all cant be expressing y'all feelings. Y'all act like issa disease or sumn. Meanwhile keeping your feelings in is what's actually killing most of y'all. Y'all niggas be acting like it's not ok to Express your feelings. Like it's actually making me tight." I rambled but it's actually true.

"Aight mama I'm sorry, I'm just not good wit it." He said and I sighed, giving him a kiss on his forehead.

"I know baby, I'm not good at it either, but we can learn together, aight?" I asked and he nodded his head, stuffing his head into my neck.


𝐞 𝐱 𝐜 𝐮 𝐬 𝐞  𝐦 𝐢 𝐬 𝐭 𝐚 𝐤 𝐞 𝐬  🥰

Let's pretend Amora's 15 now. The previous chapters y'all done seen bout her, dismiss it. AMORA IS NOW 15 YEARS OLD. SHE IS KAMARI'S LIL SISTER.

I know this book is all over the place and I apologize. I'm not in a very good state of mind right now (physically, mentally, and emotionally), and I'm using writing to distract myself from all this shit I'm feeling.

🥴🙄

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