If I Stay {Fillie}

Metal on a Chalkboard

Breakfast at Tiffany's and bottles of bubbles,
Girls with tattoos who like getting in trouble,
Lashes and diamonds, ATM machines,
Buy myself all of my favorite things.

Millie was careful not to turn the speaker up too loud so as not to disturb anyone else in the house.

It was around noon, and two maids had come knocking on Millie's bedroom door a few minutes before, asking her if she would like them to clean. But she'd waved them off kindly. She had some unpacking to do by herself.

Ariana Grande continued to sing over the speaker as the brunette remade her bed. It had felt so strange to sleep in it last night. Though it was more comfortable than anything she had ever slept in before, she had to admit, she missed her own bed.

She missed her family even more.

The goodbye when Lilia had come to bring her here had been one of the hardest things Millie had ever had to do. She had thrown her belongings into a couple of bags, called her family together, and told them she was going away.

They had asked a lot of questions. They didn't understand that it was something she had to do. They didn't realize that someone would be coming after her, and that she had to go live somewhere else.

She recalled briefly explaining how she had helped Finn Wolfhard get out of prison, and in return he was going to protect her from Jacob.

The look of utter relief on her parents' and siblings' faces when she mentioned that they could come visit her on weekends nearly broke her heart. She wished more than anything they could come live there with her, too.

Millie barely remembered calling Sadie and Noah and telling them the same thing. Sadie had acted like it was no big deal, and instead congratulated her friend on scoring a living situation with Finn Wolfhard, sounding insanely jealous. But Millie could hear the choked back sobs threatening to escape in her voice over the phone.

Noah had nearly cried as well, asking her what she would do about school, and how he was supposed to come annoy her every day. That conversation had been in the car, and Lilia, Caleb, and Gaten had pretended not to hear Millie's tears as she told him it would all be okay.

Tomorrow was Saturday. Tomorrow she could see her family and best friends.

As for school, Kelly had notified the principal as to why her daughter had not attended school since the twenty-first of April, the day of the Calpurnia concert that had ended in turmoil. The principal had shown them sympathy and decided that Millie did not have to come to classes for the last month of her senior year, but she would be allowed to graduate with the rest of her class.

Millie had dreamed of graduation from an early age, of wearing the cap and gown and saying goodbye to her classmates she had practically grown up with. She was very thankful she would still get to experience it.

The stitches in her throat were a painful reminder that nothing was the same anymore.

Everything she wore was high-necked so no one could see the thin thread holding the folds of her thyroid together. She always wore her hair down to hide the scars of where the lymph nodes were removed. And the remaining scars were inside, where she let no one see.

Every new dawn was one day closer to the day she would be gone.

Eventually there would be no more sunrises for Millie. There would be no more going to Dollar General with Sadie and Noah and running around like maniacs until the manager made them leave. There would be no more playing silly games with Ava, going to the spa and getting manicures with Paige, no more watching her favorite movies with Charlie. No more hugs from her parents. Everything she had ever lived for would be gone. She would not have the privilege of seeing another sunset when that dreaded day arrived.